Reflections
by herongale
Summary: That which reflects also entraps: the soul can be captured when held up before a mirror. If you look at yourself in order to see yourself, you may become lost. Daiken fic, with extensive involvement of all the Digidestined. REBOOT VERSION
1. Touch

REFLECTIONS authors note: This is an old, old story. I wrote it around 8 years ago, and it's been offline for several years. However, every now and then someone writes to me asking me to bring it back, and now I think I am ready to republish it. This will not be an automatic process, because I intend to edit the chapters as I put them up, and not all of the edits will be minor. The basic jist of the story will of course remain unchanged, but I want to give it a little polish while allowing it to still retain some of the raw character that exposes this to be the first real fanfic I ever wrote. I hope that new and old readers alike will enjoy it.

standard disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Neither the series nor the characters. Nothing can stop me from liking them though.

+Touch+

The Digital World, a mirror to our own, is also a mirror of the contentment of its denizens. Sometimes it is bizarre, a starry sky shaken with translucent thunderheads. Other times, it is wonderful: green-purple auroras sheeting around a triumphant sun. On this day the weather was mild and uncertain, misty and grey.

"Hey, Hikari, want to go to the dance with me?" Daisuke, for the 5th (or perhaps 50th) time.

Hikari sighed. Gatomon snorted. "I thought we had agreed that we would all go together, Daisuke. As a group."

Daisuke indicated his scorn with that concept with a put-upon shrug and a wounded expression. "But it's a *dance*."

"I'll save you a dance," Hikari said, taking the barrette out of her hair and pushing the freed locks behind her ear. "A private, personal dance just for you." She sounded mildly aggrieved. "Isn't that fine?"

Miyako winked at Daisuke. "This way you'll get to dance with two beautiful ladies, not just one!"

Daisuke looked at Miyako warily. Her cuteness was definitely overshadowed by her rapaciousness, in his mind. "Um, yeah. Thanks. But it won't count as a date if I go with both of you."

"And me!" TK called cheerfully from his position in the large tree from which he was scouting the area. "Daisuke, tell you what. I'll be your date!"

A groan erupted from Daisuke. "No."

"Oh come on." TK dropped out of the tree down into the path, brushing off his knees and deploying a disturbing grin. "I'll wear my best suit. It'll be hot."

"No."

Hikari stepped over to where TK was, mirroring his smile with one of her own. "No fair," she said, poking TK lightly in the chest. "You promised you'd save all of your dances for me."

"Why are you making promises like that?" Daisuke asked abruptly, having followed Hikari so that he could quickly position himself between his Beloved and The Annoying One. He moved Hikari's hand out of the way so he could start poking at TK himself. But he hadn't gotten more than three pokes in before Hikari grabbed his hand back, holding it tight and preventing him from continuing. Daisuke flushed, his heart skipping a beat, and turned to stammer some nonsensical confession when...

"Stop it," Hikari said firmly, looking Daisuke straight in the eye. "You're being obnoxious."

"Y-you should tell him not to make promises like that!" Daisuke said, strengthened and encouraged by the hand holding his own. "Besides, I asked first!"

Hikari relented, loosening her grip on Daisuke's intruding hand. Her expression softened. "Yeah. But he has dibs."

"Dibs?"

"Well, of course," Hikari said, shrugging but with a friendly gleam in her eyes. "I'm his girl."

It began to rain.

. + .

"I see, it's a fait accompli" Ken offered, unhelpfully.

It had been a truly awful afternoon in the digital world. Hikari had never really comprehended the seriousness of Daisuke' affections. Her "understanding" with TK was so ingrained in her psyche that she had assumed that Daisuke had known about it, and had been goofing with her the whole time, perhaps in an attempt to make Miyako jealous.

It was natural for Hikari to be a little bit short-sighted. Her nature was Light, and as she stood in the center of that light, she sometimes failed to notice the light that reflected back at her. But after her off-hand comment, he had fallen into a black funk that even she noticed.

Of course, she had felt terribly guilty, and had been astonishingly sympathetic. It didn't bear thinking about. And so Daisuke returned to the real world early, to grieve and to plot. And naturally, his mind turned to Ken Ichijuoji, long-time friend and erstwhile Digital Kaiser. Ever since Ken had begun his loose association with the Digidestined, Daisuke had formed a surprising bond with the slim genius, and it seemed natural to turn to him in a time of crisis.

"The hell? What's that fat thing?" Daisuke was curled up in a fetal position on Ken's floor. Ken was sitting at his computer, but his chair was turned towards Daisuke and he was staring at him intently. It had taken Daisuke forever to relate his tale of woe, considering that he was moaning with some frequency. Ken had listened to the tale in silence so far.

"It's French. It means 'accomplished fact.'"

Daisuke rolled over onto his back, stretching listlessly. "Oh. Does that mean that I was the only one not to notice this relationship between her and TK?"

Ken narrowed his eyes, but did not comment.

Daisuke continued to stare at Ken's ceiling. "I want to think that she was just playing with me, so that I could hate her or whatever. But she's not like that." He sighed vigorously, putting extra energy into it because he'd been sighing all evening and wanted this one to be special. "I can't believe this happened. With TK there and everything! I've been totally humiliated!"

The sunlight flooded Ken's bedroom with light, and Davis' prone form was suffused with the rose warmth of sunset. Ken leaned forward, catching Daisuke's eye. "I'm not sure I can do anything about your heartbreak. But I do know a thing or two about eliminating shame."

Daisuke looked up at Ken worriedly. "I don't want to hurt Hikari, Ken."

Ken shook his head and bit his lip slightly. "That's not what I meant. I just think you need to restore your confidence, that's all."

Daisuke rocked into an upright position. "So what's your idea?"

"You mentioned a dance?"

. + .

Odaiba Elementary had a dance every year, called "Kiss and Tell," by administrators who liked the way the English phrase sounded, and who found it sweet and innocent in a way that American parents would only boggle at. Only the older students were permitted to attend, and exclusive dating and fancy dress were strongly discouraged. "Kiss and Tell 2001: Friendly Greetings To You" was the official theme. Miyako had been on the committee that decided the theme, and it was decided that the schoolchildren would be permitted to bring guests from other schools, as a way of expanding horizons and increasing juvenile civility. Each child would be allowed to bring one guest, so long as that person had been cleared with the school beforehand.

Naturally, when Daisuke submitted Ken's name, he didn't even need to be vetted. His name was instantly recognized by the teacher's liaison who was coordinating the whole affair, and soon the whole school was abuzz with the fact that the famous Ken Ichijuoji was condescending to attend the humble event. Miyako was one of the first to find out, naturally, and so she called up Daisuke immediately to thank...er, congratulate him for such a good idea.

"I'm glad that you are still coming," she said. "I thought that you might try to avoid the whole thing after--" She coughed. "Well, you know."

Daisuke smiled into the receiver. "It's not a big deal, really." Ken's advice had been to put on a brave face, to show the world that Daisuke Motomiya was not to be stopped by such insignificant things as one girl's rejection. "Actually I'm feeling pretty popular right now. First TK, then Ken..." He laughed, a bit thinnly. "Okay. I know that's pathetic."

"Will you still be coming with all of us?" Miyako twirled the phone cord around one index finger.

"Of course." This was all a part of Ken's plan. Hikari would see Daisuke unbowed and unbroken, holding court with the famous Ken Ichijouji, and would realize what she was missing out on. Ken had argued that this would make him feel better. Ken had promised that it would help him save face. Ken had pointed out that it would be fun, perhaps, to let Hikari get a little sense of what she had lost.

Daisuke secretly believed it would make Hikari see him in a new light.

Miyako brightened at Daisuke's reply, leaning back to settle in for a juicy and hopefully informative call. "So.... Ken. Do you know what he'll be wearing?"


	2. Clean

+ clean +

Remaking yourself and losing yourself are the same thing.

Life is surprisingly bereft of real choice. Most people live their life according to the script written into their genes, buffered by the randomness of a complex environment. All choices are moral ones, and they are never easy. And most of the time, when an individual truly wishes to make a choice, there really is no possibility of making one.

And sometimes, when the choice one wishes to make is closed to him, it becomes a game. A game of cloaking oneself in the dignity of indifference.

At least, that's the way it felt to Ken. But what does he know? He's only 11.

. + .

Golden hair, check. Brushed, check. Adorable smile....um wait, that looks goofy. Adjust, adjust...ok, check! Blue blazer, check check check!

TK was evaluating himself in the mirror, getting down with his bad self on the eve of the "Kiss and Tell" dance. Patamon was relaxing on TK's bed, wearing a pair of sunglasses and humming some human music that he thought would create an inspirational mood (although "Don't Let the Dogs Out" would not have been TK's first choice).

All was well in the House of Style.

. + .

Iori was on the Internet, writing a scathing review of "Miss Congeniality." *Worst Movie...Ever*, he typed furiously.

. + .

Miyako was now on Hour 14 of PreDanceathon2001. She had forced herself to get up at 4am to start her oblations. She was going to pattern her "look" after a snapshot of Mimi that she had discovered in the British girl's magazine, Sugar. And so, in the Spirit of Mimi, she had arranged her day exactly as she imagined that any self-respecting princess of style might.

Altogether, her fascination with Mimi sometimes bordered on obsession. But she didn't care. If she could be like Mimi, life would be perfect!

"And tonight, Ken will be mine!" Miyako licked her crimson-colored, peach-tasting lips in anticipation.

. + .

Kari was doing some last minute grocery shopping for her family, having naively taken to heart the school's admonition to "keep it simple!" Her only concession to the extravagance of the day were some pink glass dragonfly barrettes, and a short daisy-print dress. Without at all intending it, she looked perfect.

But then again, she always looked perfect.

. + .

Daisuke was still checking himself out in the mirror when the doorbell rang. Jun answered the door, and he heard her murmur something admiringly. And then: "He's in his room. Just a sec."

Daisuke was wearing a grey oxford shirt, brushed cotton that shone like anything. His pants were black and trim, and he was wearing nice black dressy shoes. To top it all off, he was wearing a silk tie, a slightly darker shade of grey, and it looked quite jaunty. "Not too shabby," he thought to himself, even as he moved to meet Ken at the door. Ken had helped him pick out the outfit, actually. It was a lot more understated then he was used to, but somehow he managed to look quite...grr! There was Ken, sitting in the living room, looking. Wow. Different, in an incredibly good way.

Ken always had seemed to be a boy who preferred his uniforms. Soccer, school, crazed emperor....anything but individual style. Usually, when he was wearing street clothes, they tended to be non-descript, revealing nothing about the wearer, giving him an anonymous air of distinction.

But now...! Ken was also wearing black pants, but they were baggy and practically iridescent. His shirt was also shiny, a deep red, the color of blood. He noticed that Daisuke had stopped in his procession across the floor and was staring at him, Ken smiled and uncrossed his legs, and his pants made a soft rustling sound. "You look good, Daisuke. That outfit...suits you."

Jun was standing next to her parents, who had entered the room to greet Ken. "He's right, son, you look terrific!" gushed his mother. Jun evaluated her brother critically. "You'll pass," she allowed.

Daisuke' father was all business. "I want you home by 10:30pm, latest! And you two, make sure you walk the girls home before you come home yourselves."

"Yeah, we'll make sure that TK makes it home safe," Daisuke said airily. Ken rolled his eyes, and then announced gravely that Miyako and Kari would be looked out for. "You are the perfect gentleman, Ken. I don't know how you ended up friends with this airhead" declaimed Jun.

Daisuke gave a blood-curdling cry and pretended to attack Jun with ninja stars. "Oh, that's easy," Ken replied. "he keeps me in line." The entire Motomiya family laughed.


	3. I See Into You

+I see into you+

"Iori! Iori! Come on out!"

Miyako was knocking briskly on the door to the Hida apartment, and was surprised when it was Iori's mother who answered. Her cheeks red, she bowed. "Oh, hello, Mrs. Hida. Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to stop by and see Iori before I left."

With a smile, Miyako was admitted into the apartment. She took off her slippers, and then was escorted to Iori's room, where he appeared to be doing homework. Miyako winked at Mrs. Hida, and then struck a glamorous pose. "Do you think that Ken will approve?"

Iori turned to look at Miyako. She looked pretty, but she didn't really look like herself; the perils of school dances, he supposed. He smiled anyway, encouraging, and then rummaged quickly through his desk, pulling out a little keychain. One that his father had given him a long time ago. It was a bronze disk, engraved with a picture of a dragon and the word "Excelsior!" emblazoned across it: a typical present from a doting papa; one of very few. He tossed it at her. "For luck," he said simply.

She recognized the dragon keychain, and smiled beatifically. "Thanks Iori. You rock."

. + .

"Do you need help bringing the groceries in?" Tai called down from the balcony, from where he noticed his sister struggling with 4 full bags from the market.

Hikari looked up and smiled at her brother. "Sure."

Tai hurried down the stairs to meet her about halfway, and took all of the bags from her, despite her protests to keep some. "Hey, isn't it about time for you to leave for the dance?" he asked.

"..."

Tai looked at her with a sidelong glance. "So why aren't you more excited about it?"

Hikari looked down at her feet, and said nothing.

"That's not acceptable! What's wrong?"

Hikari stopped walking, and to Tai's surprise, she stifled a childish sob, a tear rolled down her cheek as she gulped for air. "Did you know that Daisuke liked me?" Sometimes, she looked so young. "I mean, =really= liked me?"

"Well, yeah. You mean you didn't?"

At this moment, Miko bounded down the stairwell, mewing loudly. For a moment there was only silence; Hikari stared at Tai with wide eyes.

"Are you serious?" Her voice was very quiet, muffled, when she finally replied.

"Well… yeah."

Hikari frowned; the tears were still flowing, but she was holding back frank crying with an obvious force of will. "Why am I the Guardian of Light? That makes no sense. If that's the case, how could I be so blind?"

Tai struggled with this one. Obviously his sister needed some kind of wisdom, some answer to make everything all right. But he couldn't see beyond the obvious, which was that Daisuke is young, he'll get over it, it's not worth crying about. It was an honest mistake. But he saw clearly that this touched on a deeper concern that she must have been wondering about for a long time.

"Hikari, don't hate me for saying this, but you are still just a young girl. No one expects you to be perfect. And… well. It's easy to let that Guardian of Light stuff get to your head."

Surprisingly, that seemed to help. Hikari smiled a little, and then took the opportunity to snatch one of the bags back, and began bounding up the steps. Tai followed her, a bit perplexed at the change. At the landing, Hikari turned to him, a brave look on her face. "You're right. I *am* too proud."

Tai shook his head. "Hey, that's not what I meant. You are so helpful around the house, good to mom and dad, and me. Your classmates admire you, and they should. You are kind and considerate. Those are things to be proud of. I just think you take too much upon yourself."

Hikari set down the bag that she had grabbed, and picked up Miko, who began to purr like a lion. "It's not so considerate. I just like to be nice. I never thought about my...obligations to others. I assumed that I couldn't do something wrong if my intentions were good. But that's not enough. Now I see it. Thanks Tai."

Ok, this was beyond confusing. Tai followed Hikari into the apartment, and changed the subject to soccer and things that he felt that he knew something about.

. + .

TK was still grooving, having convinced Patamon to switch his "humDJ"-efforts into something more hip. Miyako was supposed to stop by and pick him up in a few minutes, and they were going to walk together to the school, where they would meet everyone else.

They had made a pact to be the snazziest dressed kids at the dance. It was to be a contest; a bruising tournament of fashion. Together, they would beat down everyone else at school. And they had already planned out their respective rewards. For TK, victory would mean a kiss from Hikari—not the first, but sure to be the best yet. For Miyako, victory would grant her a kiss from the elusive Ken.

This was how it worked out in all of Miyako's strategic scenerios, anyway.

TK was confident that Miyako would hold up her end of the bargain. He was a little less sure that he'd win the male honors. After all, Daisuke was bringing Ken, and there was a wild card if ever there was one. And then there was Daisuke himself.

Motomiya Daisuke.

He still felt guilty over what had happened a few weeks ago in the digital world. At first TK was angry that Daisuke had hurt Hikari by being hurt by her. It was all his own fault too; that level of obliviousness had to be some kind of crime. Wasn't it obvious how Hikari felt, after all? That she loved _him_?

But then, after the anger subsided, he found it replaced by an odd sense of relief: hence the guilt. Perhaps all those months of Daisuke picking on Hikari were finally about to come to an end; TK felt bad for feeling so relieved, because he knew that Daisuke was probably suffering right now. And he felt kind of responsible too; Daisuke's flirting had not exactly been subtle. He and Hikari had always assumed, though, that it was some kind of joke. So neither of them had taken Daisuke aside, given him the talking-to that he needed.

And it made TK feel a little insecure, too. Had Hikari actually liked all that… Daisukeness? It was almost as if she were torn. Now that Hikari had finally, accidentally, made everything clear to Daisuke, it was hard not to breathe that sigh of relief.

Daisuke, not his choice for an easy rival.

Glancing out the window, TK noticed that clouds were gathering, but that didn't surprise him. After all, the news reports all had confirmed that a storm was expected, but it would be quite late that night. By then he would be sleeping, so it didn't concern him.

Scanning the sky further, he found the first star of the evening, a bright pulsing light, low in the western sky. Ah, that would be Venus. Not really a star, then. But then, Hikari wasn't really a star either, and she certainly counted as the first light of his life.

He made a wish.

. + .

Ken felt kind of strange, not himself.

He and Daisuke were walking towards the school together, and they were sharing a moment of silence. It was a comfortable silence. Most of the time, whenever he was with other people, silence meant worship. With Daisuke, it just meant that there wasn't anything to say. Daisuke was so different from anyone who he had ever known. So complicated. He laughed whenever Daisuke labeled himself simple. The sea is simple, too.

Ken looked down at the clothes he was wearing, and felt his cheeks go red. This went way beyond the scope of his original plan. He was supposed to be helping Daisuke out, not reinventing himself.

Ken looked at Daisuke out of the corner of his eye, the object of his "charity." When Daisuke had come to him a few weeks ago with his tale of heartache, Ken had been so filled with exuberance that it scared him. That was a feeling he associated with his life as the Kaiser. Such happiness must mean that someone, somewhere, was suffering on his behalf. With characteristic ruthlessness, he dampened his own visceral response, and decided to do whatever it was that Daisuke needed of him.

Surely, a startling fashion departure was not necessary to achieve that goal. So, why?

The street that the two were walking down was in a shopping district, and since it was a weekend, there were many people carrying parcels and looking generally blissed out. Since he was covertly analyzing Daisuke, Ken noticed that he looked similarly pleased, in that secretive way of his which for everyone else made him seem more obvious than ever. Ken had long ago figured out that Daisuke was viewing this plan as a way to woo Hikari, not as a way to forget her.

Ken approved of hope, in general, but this hope sickened him.

As Ken silently weighed the import of his treasonous thoughts, Daisuke spoke up. "Hey, Ken? I'm glad you are the one who's helping me out." He was giving Ken one of his trademark sheepish grins. "I can't think of anyone else I'd trust my feelings to, and you haven't failed me, not once."

Ken nodded silently. Suddenly his finery felt very uncomfortable.

"I know this evening will be dull for you," Daisuke continued. "Or worse. It's not your bag, even I know that. Miyako will be all over you the second we see her, and the rest of the 5th and 6th graders will follow. Are you ok with all of this? We don't have to go."

Ken glanced away, feeling a warmth extending from his chest into his face. It made all of his blushing before seem pale. "I can hardly disappoint my fans, can I?" he managed, and then, in a smoother tone, he continued. "Miyako doesn't bother me, and in fact I think I can expect her to protect me from the ravages of your peers. Don't worry about it."

Daisuke broke into a wide grin. For now, he was the smooth glassy sea, transparent and beautiful. "That's wonderful. I think that tonight will be great for the both of us! You may not have noticed, but my soccer skills will make sure that I'm the king of the dance floor! The you and me together, we'll be an unstoppable force! I can't wait!"

"I'm glad," Ken said, surprising himself with how calm he sounded. "I'm glad you will be happy."


	4. Plenty of Good in that Bad

+plenty of good in that bad+

Willow trees lined the river, birch lined the path, and the oak forest in-between was sprinkled with flowering trees in bloom. White dogwood, austere magnolia, and the ever-favored cherry tree, each according to its nature. Although the dogwood trees were still barely budding, the soft petals from the cherry were falling softly on the path in the park. Daisuke had chosen this route to get to school, because it was longer and he needed some time to steel his nerves.

Looking over at his companion, he noticed that Ken was smiling very slightly, briefly, as he kicked through a pile of fallen pink. He wondered what was brewing in Ken's refined mind. Naturally, he didn't allow himself to wonder for long.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ken looked up at the sky, squinting at some star in the western horizon as if he intended to summon it. "Let's see. Walls, Veils. Things that separate." Rather abruptly, he turned to Daisuke and stopped walking, giving him a disapproving look. "That's not nice."

Daisuke stuck out his tongue at him. Long ago he had figured out that Ken tended to wax melancholic if left brooding for too long. And so, if the silence between them had stretched just a little too far, he liked to break it with that question. _What are you thinking about?_ Half the time, the answer was philosophical babble that Daisuke never understood. The other half of the time, when he did understand it, it always seemed a little sad. So he knew he was right to call Ken on it.

Besides, it was funny! Ken Ichijuoji, wonderfully scary, formidable to a fault, never failed to be floored by it. It was the one trick that always worked. Seeing Ken standing there, arms crossed, ablaze with righteous ire, it was as if the Kaiser had been reborn.

Although, this was a nice Kaiser who would help him out with his homework and buy him snacks if the occasion required it.

So Daisuke did the only appropriate thing. He walked over to where Ken was fuming, slung his arm around his shoulder casually, and said, "Hey I think about things too, you know. Manchester United, why United States soccer teams suck." Ken gave him a suspicious look, and then had the grace to look a little embarrassed. Daisuke continued, "It's okay of you're a geek. I'll be cool enough for the both of us. Thank goodness it's so easy for me."

Ken looked at the young boy clumsily trying to appease him, and moved so that his face was inches from Daisuke. "Is that so?" he challenged. "You, think? Is that what you said?"

Daisuke lifted his chin, and from deep in his throat came a small note of displeasure. "Damn straight!" He disengaged his arm from Ken's shoulder, and proceeded to walk along haughtily. What was Ken so het up about? Ken paused, and then quickened his pace to stride even with Daisuke. They walked silently like this for a few minutes. When they were just about ready to emerge from the park, 300 yards from the school grounds, Ken grabbed Daisuke by the shoulder, not roughly but forcefully.

"Look at me." Ken's expression was grim. "I think you are planning on trying to win Hikari back tonight. In fact, I know it." Daisuke recoiled, but only a little. Ken was his friend, and no Kaizer. Not any more. "You should have told me. Why didn't you tell me?" Where was all this intensity coming from, all of the sudden? "Walls." Ken sounded disgusted. "I hate them."

Daisuke was taken aback. What was all this? Daisuke could never hide anything from Ken if he tried. He thought that Ken knew all this, knew it without him having to say anything. Knew him, the way that only Ken was ever able to know him. Suddenly he felt wretched. He'd accidentally stirred something deep in the violet-eyed boy, and whatever it was, he wished he could take it back. Daisuke felt a queasy stabbing in his stomach. Why did he feel so guilty, so exposed?

"I...I don't know."

Ken simply stared. His gaze was somehow both dead, and alight with fury.

This was bad.

Why _hadn't _he said anything about this new plan of his, anyway? He used to be very forthcoming to Ken when it came to every single miniscule detail of his feeling for the girl. And even after he had found out that she really didn't return his feelings, he had poured out every woe to Ken. But lately, in the past few weeks, he had started to feel ashamed of his feelings for Hikari. It seemed…dirty. Like he was betraying something by even having them.

Daisuke started to splutter, it was his turn to babble nonsense. But oddly, even as he became more incoherent, Ken seemed to cool down. The grip of his shoulders, downright painful at first, loosened slowly as Daisuke muttered apologies and broken explanations.

As Daisuke wound down, Ken's unreadable expression altered; no longer dead, it appeared somewhat resigned. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. It was ridiculous of me to expect you to tell me that."

Ridiculous? If Ken felt that it was ridiculous, it meant that he believed that Daisuke was not as close to him as he'd believed.

"Ken! No! I-- "

"It's just, I noticed it, and was surprised. That is all."

Why did Daisuke feel so horrible? He felt like he should say something. _Of course, you have the right to know! You're mine...my friend. _His heart sputtered.

"I'm sorry, Ken, I didn't--"

Ken turned towards the school resolutely. "Well then." It was almost cruel, how expertly he cut Daisuke off. "Let's win you your dream, why don't we?"

That remark should have made Daisuke dizzy with triumph. If Ken declared that something was to be done, it usually happened.

Not this time. Daisuke felt miserable.

"Sure. That's...something. Great. Yeah."

In this spirit of 'comradeship,' the two boys set forth.


	5. Fling

+ fling +

Spend money on something, and it becomes significant.

If a date is undertaken, the price of chips and a soda will buy you a pleasant memory. However, a $300 extravaganza at the Whitney will buy something unforgettable: an "experience." Never mind that sometimes the more homely option is more appealing to most people...sit down with a bottle of Dom Perignon, and suddenly the birds chirp louder, the sky is bluer, and conversation is enriched.

In Miyako's world, the birds were stereophonic.

Her dress was a miracle in cream. Very simple, with a round neck and no sleeves. The folds of silk brushed just past her knees. She wore shimmery taupe pantyhose, and white platform sandals. Embroidered at the hem of her dress was a white-on-white replication of the frieze that decorates the Parthenon. The dress was not cheap, nor were the pearl earrings, or the numerous pins and bows she had used to twist her hair up into an elegant style.

Although she had no designs on TK, it was extremely gratifying for her to watch as his mouth dropped open slightly when he opened the door of his apartment. She made as if to wipe away drool from his chin. TK's response was far more satisfying then Iori's. Although, she had been very touched by the gift of the charm from her young friend: she had risked disturbing the clean lines of her dress to attach the little keychain to a gold link belt that just so happened to coordinate well with the "grand picture."

"Are you ready?" she asked coyly.

"Mein Gott, it is a woman!" TK said, wriggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Miyako was surprised by this for a second, and then laughed. "You ass. Let's go."

. + .

At the front entrance of the school, students were beginning to gather, some stopping to wait for friends but most continuing on to the gymnasium. The decorations committee was heavily populated with young girls, and so the color scheme was pink and white (and you'd better believe that Miyako chose her dress to match this overarching principle). The bleachers had all been pushed back into the wall storage, and there was a disco ball hanging from the center score board. Streamers and balloons were artfully arranged to suggest the idea of "ballroom," which for the most part worked, considering that few of the children had ever seen a real ballroom outside of "Shall we Dance?"

The student body president, a sharkish 6th grade boy wearing the school uniform, was at the door greeting new arrivals and making pleasant conversation with the parents who were chaperoning. The first of the Chosen Children to arrive was Hikari. She had come by herself, because "why not?" was _her_ overarching principle. If an idea seemed sensible to her, she soon seized it as her own.

Hikari often wished that she were more spontaneous, but when she truly thought out the consequences of spontaneity, it became obvious to her that security was far more precious then any surprise.

She sat down on a wooden bench, far enough from the door that the "door people" wouldn't bother her with inane chitchat, but close enough so that she could watch everyone as they arrived. She gave warm greetings to all, and collected a squadron of her own gang of friends, who vowed to wait with her until TK showed up. Without intending it, Hikari had become the center of a new, de facto receiving line that was much friendlier then the student-council approved version, which was passing out buttons that proclaimed "Children of the World, Unite!" That had NOT been Miyako's idea.

The first of her Chosen Children friends to arrive were none other then TK and Miyako. As soon as TK was sighted, an excited buzz arose among the gathered girls. He had been voted "most popular" and "cutest smile" for the past 2 years in a row, and there were not a few girls assembled there who would have given anything to be the recipient of his most brilliant grin, which he was now directing at Light's Keeper. Miyako had no such pre-assembled cheering section, but several scattered groups of boys who hadn't yet decided to begin the festivities started to whistle loudly.

Miyako twirled before Hikari. "Win?" Her expression was arch.

Hikari laughed. "Win. It might be premature to say this, but I think it's a lock. What a fabulous dress!"

Miyako looked around. "So where's my prize?"

The prize being, of course, Ken.

As Hikari was assuring her that neither Daisuke nor Ken had arrived, several voices rose from the gathered crowd. "You go!" "Ken's mine" "Don't you dare hog him, Miyako!" Obviously, Miyako wasn't the only one who saw Ken was a prize; nor did everyone agree that he was a prize destined for her.

One brave boy, from beyond the main circle, pointed out that he didn't think Ken was "all that." He was shouted down, mainly by the boys around him, who started calling him jealous. Ken's fan club crossed gender lines.

Not long after, a hush consumed the crowd. "I suspect Ken has been sighted," said TK dryly. "Batten down the hatch, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

And it could have been, at that. But without any warning, Miyako single-handedly coordinated a miracle.

With a few well-placed comments, exactly 3 whispered consultations with particular rivals that left them shaking, and a general announcement, Miyako routed the crowd. "I don't think I need to remind the great students of Odaiba Elementary of the spirit of Friendship that is the guiding principle, not just of tonight, but of our whole lives" she declaimed loudly to all. "I don't think I need to remind _you_ of exactly what pictures I'll give Ken if anyone treats him poorly," she whispered to the local president of Ken's fan club. To the boy who made the skeptical comment, she merely asked him to be nice. To anyone that lingered with an autograph book in hand, she reminded them that she knew their names and all evil trespassers would surely be chronicled in Ken's upcoming Memoirs. Miyako did this seamlessly, in a matter of minutes. Long before Ken was in earshot, the crowd was dispersed.

All in all, a virtuoso performance.

It was a very good thing that Miyako accomplished all of this before setting eyes on Ken. When he finally did come into range, she melted. "Ken and Miyako Ichijuoji," she whispered to herself, as she fingered Iori's gift. Excelsior! An exhortation to greatness. "Ken and Miyako Ichijouji…"

TK overheard. "I'm going to etch that on your tombstone" he teased.

Hikari overheard THAT. "Be nice." And then, as she turned and looked towards Daisuke and Ken, "oh my."

TK evaluated Ken critically. "I lose, don't I?"

Hikari didn't say anything. Her eyes were on Daisuke.


	6. Hollow and Untouchable

+ hollow and untouchable+

_2 days earlier_

After all this time, they still felt like strangers. Worse, they treated him gingerly, and Ken saw in their eyes the same fear of rejection he sometimes still saw in Wormmon.

His papa, his mama. The unremarkable Ichijuojis, known only for their progeny. The genesis of Osamu might have originally been seen as some fluke, but when Ken began to display a shadow of Osamu's remarkable, multifactorial gifts, the probing public that had admired the Ichijouji children had turned its questing gaze to them.

And they liked it, the attention. It was a heady drug. And so, from a very early age, the one sure trait that Ken shared with his parents was a need to be noticed, to be remarked upon, to be praised.

When Ken had shed his identity as the Digital Kaiser, he had gained some insight into the dysfunction that plagued his family. He saw how deeply his parents loved him, and how desperately they felt that they had failed both of their children. He saw that they blamed themselves, not only for Osamu's death (a guilt he shared), but for Ken's descent into a dissociative fugue which caused him to run away and lose his sense of self.

If only they knew. Ken wanted to find someway to lessen that burden, to tell them about the digital world.

_It's my fault_, his heart cried. _I'm the one who chose the path of evil. I'm the one who ran away._

So, two days before Daisuke's school dance, he decided to take some of the first steps of responsibility. Ken knew that the digital world was not his secret to share, but he felt quite strongly that he should try to find a way to communicate some of the things he had felt, and did, when he had ran away.

He found his papa, sitting in front of the television, watching a baseball game and drinking a Kirin beer. The crack of the bat striking the ball reminded Ken of the sound of his whip as it hit the bodies of Digimon. Pouring himeself a lemonade, Ken joined his father on the couch.

"Hey Ken, what's up?"

"Nothing." Ken made a little face. That was not a good way to begin. "Nothing much," he amended.

Papa nodded, skeptical but seemingly distracted, turning back to the game. "The pitcher's going to try a fast ball here, just you watch." Leaning forward, beer in hand, his dad had an intent look in his eyes. "But look at the way that batter is shifting his grip. He's figured it out too. His name is Yota Devonara. He's brilliant."

Brilliant. Ken leaned back, sighing a little. "Yeah?"

"Just like you."

Was this an opening? Ken tensed, not having been prepared for his father to make the first move. "Papa?"

"Do you know, you remind me of my sister, your aunt? I know that you were too young to remember her." Papa sighed. "She was quiet, just like you. But she sure knew a lot, and she was good at anything. And funny, sarcastic but kind."

In fact, Ken did have a hazy recollection of his aunt. She died of cancer, and he remembered his father crying at the funeral. "Oh."

With a broad gesture of his hand, Ken's papa waved towards the TV. "Look in his eyes, son. Something I realized, when you were away. You had that same look sometimes. Like you knew the world was watching, and hated it." A beat. "I think we pushed you into that spotlight, and I'm sorry about that. But lately, it seems that you've given up your hope as well as your ambition. I like that even less." Looking down at his hands, his dad's voice became quiet. "I can't help but feel that we did that to you, too. I wish you could tell us, what we could do. You seem to walk in and out of our lives, but you never stay. Your mother and I, we've noticed. I wish we were smart like you. Then we'd know what to do."

"…No." Ken spoke slowly. "I'm not as smart as you think." How could he take responsibility when the people around him were to relentlessly kind? It was enough to make his heart break. Ken didn't know what to say. He felt so selfish. _I'm still not over Osamu_, he realized. "I'm not as smart as Osamu," he added, stumbling over his brother's name.

Osamu was the one who would really know what to do.

"Don't you believe that." Ken's papa looked at him, expression somehow hesitant. "Don't you ever believe that." Awkwardly, he leaned over, to hug his son. Ken was very stiff, but he did not move away. "You are the smartest person your mother and I know. The most important thing in either of our lives." Papa sounded a bit hoarse; this made Ken feel even more guilty.

Someday, maybe Ken would know how to mend things. To heal the wounded relationship between himself and his parents. To take responsibility for his many, many crimes. To live up to the example his brother had set, without becoming lost in some futile quest to become just like him.

But today, he only felt young. And lost.

.+.

_present day, Odaiba Elementary_

Admiration is not love. Ken knew that quite well. When he saw the throngs ready to greet him, he groaned inwardly. He still was feeling shaky over what he had said to Daisuke.

_Admiration may not be love, but it doesn't exclude it. Daisuke…_

Ken squelched that thought. The walk had been going so well, with Ken subsuming his desires under the saintly goal of making Daisuke happy, until he ruined everything forever by getting up on his moral high horse and expressing some of the sour hurt roiling in his gut.

Okay, perhaps "ruined forever" was a bit of an overstatement, but Ken cursed his selfishness nonetheless.

Relations with his parents remained touchy. Relations with Wormmon were still tentative. Was Ken really going to make it so that even his relationship with Daisuke would be plagued with fear and doubt?

Expressing his frustration had not been worth it. Not after he'd seen the look in Daisuke's eyes when he said it.

_Must I betray everyone I care for in my own insecure jealousy_?

Daisuke had looked up at the crowd, and then made a noise of surprise. "Look at that." Everyone who had seemed to be looking their way, expectantly or predatorily, now turned to file into the school. "What happened to your mobs of fans?" Daisuke laughed, a bit forced, but as if determined to bring things back to normal. Ken's heart ached. "Someone must have pushed their conscience button. Maybe there's a chance that tonight will turn out to be normal, after all."

"Small chance of that," Ken said, doing his part to mend the rift by deploying his habitual caustic sarcasm. A family trait.

Daisuke ignored this. "Our friends are over there," he said.

"Don't you mean your friends?" As soon as the words were out, Ken cursed himself again. Even when he wasn't trying he could be so cruel.

"What?" Daisuke firmly grabbed Ken's hand, and if earlier he'd seemed discomfited and upset, somehow Ken's bitterness was causing him to gather resolve. Daisuke began to drag him forward. "They are your friends too. It's past time that you saw that." With that, Ken found himself being marched towards the school. Daisuke's hand clutching at his own.

Ken was having a hard time holding his composure. It was nothing new for Daisuke to manhandle him, but this feeling now wiped away both his regrets and his apprehensions. Daisuke could probably make him do anything.

He could probably even lead him into becoming a better man.

"Show me." Ken commanded, hollowly. A better man? Right.

He was still only 11.

Daisuke smiled at him, and Ken realized that now it was Daisuke trying to cheer _him _up. The leader of the Chosen Children tapped his forehead. "I changed my mind. No more trying to win over Hikari: that is a mission of a lifetime, not just one measly night." Having decided on a new course, it was obvious that all of Daisuke's regrets had vanished. "The new plan is this: tonight, you're becoming one of the team. Like, all the way."

Ken nodded, feeling as he was about to be swept away. Daisuke continued. "I want to know you better, too." And there was a little contrition there, but more than that, there was the anthem of Total Resolve singing in his voice. "Sometimes you surprise me. You know?"

_You surprise me. _

It went both ways.

Daisuke dragged Ken all the way to his friends. _Their_ friends.

Author's note: the chapter numbering from here on in will diverge from my original publication of this fic. Here I am combining two really tiny sections into one. I think it works better this way, although looking back it amuses me how short some of these earlier chapters were. Later on, the chapters become much longer. _Much _longer.


	7. Things They Like

+ things they like +

It was such an English thing, a very American thing, that caused Takeru Takaishi to go by the name "TK." To make it work, his name needed to be Romanized first, because there is not really a good Japanese equivalent to the use of initials as a familiar name. This was something that had arisen rather organically, from a smarty-pants father who knew lots of English, and a mother who had adored that in a man.

Takeru hardly remembered the days when his parents had lived together as a married couple. But his continued use of the appellation contained all of his subconscious hope that his parents would reconcile someday. They both liked his name. They both loved him. Why couldn't they love each other, as well?

Some might call his hope a delusion, but Takeru knew better. Hope is the foundation of truth.

The sun was kissing the horizon when the group of Chosen Children met. Daisuke had pulled Ken across the school yard, and when he dropped Ken's hand a flash of disappointment stood in his eyes.

Takeru raised his eyebrows in surprise, looking around for a moment to see if anyone else had noticed that. Realizing that no one else had, Takeru relaxed, and gave Ken a small, reassuring smile. Your secret's safe with me, his smile seemed to say. Ken blushed, and then looked away.

_Interesting._

Takeru noticed that Miyako seemed to be having some difficulty as well. She kept staring and staring at Ken. Her expressions flashed like quicksilver, shading from deep personal embarrassment to unspeakable joy, and then to a very forced calm, in a matter of seconds. It was always amusing, how obvious she could be sometimes. She was a lot like Daisuke, in fact: Daisuke, who was even now scowling at Miyako's kaleidoscopic display.

And there Ken was, looking at both of them, appearing completely baffled. Takeru wondered how it was possible that someone so smart could simultaneously be so clueless about human emotions.

After getting all that important scowling out of the way, Daisuke beamed at Hikari. "I hope you all weren't waiting long."

"Not really," Hikari replied. It was her usual terse blandness, but Takeru could tell she was a little shaken. Takeru didn't go to stand protectively next to her, however, confident that she could handle herself just fine. Although perhaps it was this confidence of his which had caused all the problems to begin with: he and Hikari hardly composed a tableau expressing the ideal of the doting couple, did they?

"I hope no windows were broken on the way," Takeru commented, deciding to say something at least vaguely boyfriendly, while still respecting both Hikari's independence and Daisuke's feelings.

Daisuke opened his mouth, clearly intending to retort with some witty rejoinder. But then he glanced quickly to Ken, who was still looking uncomfortable. Daisuke relaxed into a lazy, slouching posture of arrogance and boasting. "No windows, but Ken absolutely _destroyed_ four shrine maidens en route. They all renounced their vows as soon as they saw him."

Hikari laughed. "I believe it." She turned to look Ken up and down, appraisingly. "Ken, that's a really different look for you. I hope this doesn't mean that you are making a go for international fame. We'll _never_ get to see you outside of the Digital World!"

Ken looked down at his outfit, and then shrugged. "It's not that special."

"Liar," Miyako managed, breathing deeply and talking softly.

Takeru grabbed Miyako's hand, and then he grabbed Hikari's. "It's time to go in." He leaned in close to Miyako, whispering into her ear: "Keep breathing, I promise the world will start making sense again in a few minutes. Just hang on."

Miyako jumped a little, stung, but then nodded, bravely straightening herself up, smoothing the front of her dress and putting her free hand on her hip. Showing off a lazy grin: good.

"That's right, TAKERU." Daisuke first appeared taken aback by this initiative, but now was shaking his head. Bemused, perhaps? "We should make our grand entrance."

Ken had started moving as soon as Takeru had said "let's go," so was the first to greet the parents and students assigned to the door. He was polite and distant, but adding enough humor that no-one was offended by his reticence. Daisuke bypassed the receiving line altogether, an unconscious act that might have seemed rude in others, but was actually a bit charming in him, considering the way he grinned so broadly at all of the people he was neglecting to say hello to.

Now was the time for the "grand entrance."

Takeru knew he cut quite the figure with two girls on his arms. Daisuke hardly less so, with his remarkable new look and dazzling display of social indifference. But Ken was the true star, and Takeru could see that everyone knew it. The crowds ahead were full of doting, hungry eyes. Takeru looked back at Ken: Ken's eyes were burning from some nameless emotion.

Curiouser and Curiouser. Was Ken upset with all the attention? Or was there something else at play here?

Before Takeru could ponder any further, he noticed Daisuke come up to Ken, taking him by the arm in an amusingly courtly gesture which would be inappropriate and in bad taste were it anyone but Daisuke. Takeru turned his attention back to the crowd, but that did not keep him from overhearing Daisuke's proud words.

"Please don't mind them, Ken. They're all just blinded by my perfection." Takeru held back a snort. "It will pass."

. + .

After finding their assigned seats in the corner where the tables had been set up, Takeru and Hikari promptly abandoned the rest of them, off to dance to a sweet, slow song playing overhead. Ken watched Daisuke's face anxiously as the couple departed, but if Daisuke were experiencing any heartbreak, he was disguising it well. Ken was stuck wondering what that meant when Daisuke excused himself as well, announcing that he'd get drinks for Ken and Miyako and that the two of them should just sit tight.

Was Daisuke running away? Or worse, trying to create a moment for he and Miyako to bond?

"...."

"...."

Ken felt himself staring, embarrassed by Miyako's wide-eyed wonder and adulation. Although "embarrassed" was not the right word; intimidated might be more apt. Obviously, nothing fruitful was going to be discussed so long as Miyako remained in her keyed-up state. Ken wasn't sure what he could say to such bald-faced emotion.

_If only it were Daisuke looking at me this way._ Ken turned his head to peek at Daisuke, who was off in the opposite corner of the gymnasium, apparently choosing their soft drinks with the air of a wine connoisseur. _Would I be this speechless?_

Ken shook his head slightly. That line of thinking was dangerous and selfish. He needed to concentrate on the apparition sitting right next to him. Fan worship always made him uncomfortable, but when it came from someone who was supposed to be a friend, even more so. Ken could never quite tell what Miyako wanted from him, although a small voice inside of himself sometimes scolded him for being so naïve.

"Um, Miyako?"

Miyako continued to stare for a moment, and then nodded. He could see that this was an Olympic effort for her.

"Daisuke told me that you helped organize this dance. I think everything looks nice. You did a good job." Ken spoke carefully, conversationally.

"It's nothing," she said in a small voice.

For some reason, Miyako's reticence was drawing out Ken. He found that he wanted to talk to her, he wanted her to see him as a person, not as a celebrity. He very deliberately looked around, and pointed at the spray of balloons that hid all of the sports education posters. "This is the work of a master. You must really enjoy making dull things beautiful."

"Yes. That's true."

Two sentences! Without prompting! Ken was on a roll.

. + .

Hikari was in heaven. An angel in heaven, that's not so unusual. The feeling of Takeru's arms around her body, his warm breath on her neck, his spicy scent: routine.

However, as she peeked at Daisuke, who was giving her a sad little look from where he was holding some sodas, she pulled Takeru towards her closely. *Ok, perhaps my happiness isn't so common, after all. My god, I want Daisuke to have a slice of this for himself. He deserves it, and so much! I'll just have to find a way to help him find it.*

. + .

_**I have planned my grand attacks… I will stand behind their backs… with my brand-new battle axe…**_

Daisuke set down the drinks that he was juggling, a little bit of sugary carbonation spilling out onto the table as it sloshed over the edges of the cups. He was relieved to find that Ken and Miyako were talking, however hesitantly. Relieved, and a bit...curious? What could they have found to talk about?

Whatever. This was the kind of breakthrough he'd been wanting, right? As it turned out, Miyako was regaling Ken with tales of Daisuke's exploits both in and out of the Digital World, referring back to the time before Ken and Daisuke were friends, but delicately sidestepping any mention of Ken's stint as the megalomaniacal dictator ruling over said Digital World.

Clever, wasn't she? Daisuke drew in a startled breath once he realized exactly what Miyako was giggling about.

"Hey, Hey! No fair! I am NOT bossy! And that other thing you said, I'm not that either."

Ken gave him a look of amusement, and then shared a confidential smile with Miyako. "Arrogant? No, you must be mistaken. Daisuke is always so humble with _me_."

…_**then they will taste my wrath…**_

Daisuke opened his mouth, but nothing came out. This was unbelievable. Were the two of them actually… conspiring?

It gave him the most complicated, agonizing belly ache.

Ken grabbed his soda, and began to drink it. "Thanks for the refreshments. You're a lifesaver."

"You're welcome," Daisuke mumbled, very ungraciously.

"My hero," Ken continued, insistently, glancing over at Miyako with a shy and almost strangely confessional smile. What was that? Ken, Mr. No Secrets Between Us No Sir? Daisuke frowned and crossed his arms, trying to decide how aggrieved he should be over this little revelation.

"Mine too" Miyako rejoined, slyly, with a little of her usual zest.

What the hell? Daisuke looked at the two of them, so comfortable with each other. He forgot all about his newfound intention to bring the Chosen Children closer together. Ken was his, dammit. His exclusively. It was alright if people were nice to Ken, but no one should supplant Daisuke's place in Ken's confidence.

…_**they will hear me say… as the pavement whirls…**_

Daisuke growled in frustration. He tried to be quiet, but he wasn't quiet enough: Ken and Miyako both turned to stare at him, clearly surprised.

At this point, Hikari and Takeru returned from the dance floor. Daisuke noticed Hikari giving him a direct and probing look, one of the first she'd given him in weeks. She, too, looked surprised, and then this look of concern sort of washed over her. It was so her.

"What's wrong?" She asked gently.

…_**I hate California Girls…**_

To the surprise of practically everyone, Daisuke grabbed Hikari and started towards the hallway. Well, if Plan B was going up in flames, there was always Plan A.

"We need to talk," he rasped, trying his hardest not to snarl.

Author's note: Italicized content in bold represents lyrics from the song "California Girls" by The Magnetic Fields.


	8. Measure of the Man

+ measure of the man +

"W-where are we going?" Hikari's voice was hushed, hesitant, as Daisuke dragged her into the hall. Was Daisuke going to confess to her _yet again_? Was she going to have to turn him down _even more_? "Dai?"

No answer. Daisuke looked so good, so mature, in his new outfit_. I bet Ken has something to do with this_, she speculated, as her eyes traveled up and down his lean figure. Walking nearly side by side, her hand still clutched tightly in his, Hikari was but a step behind. She looked up again. Daisuke's face was full of determination and anger. _And I bet I have something to do with that. _

What had she done wrong _now_?

Daisuke was pulling her deeper into the school, and she soon divined their destination. The computer lab.

He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"You can't intend…" she spluttered. The Digital World? Did he really plan on taking her there?

Turns out, he did.

. + .

After Daisuke's mini scene, the others were left looking at each other and ahh-ing in perplexion. Daisuke had always been volatile, but sometimes he did things that were completely outside the realm of explication.

"You're… not going after them?" Ken broke the silence with a hesitant question, directed at Takeru.

Takeru shrugged, although he didn't fail to make note of the pleading, hungry way that Ken asked. Remembering Ken's earlier discomfit when Daisuke had dropped his hand earlier, Takeru decided to launch a test missile. "Not if you're not."

Oh. Oh! This was too perfect. Ken flushed and looked away, but not before giving Takeru a prickly look. So open and yet so guarded: perhaps that paradox was the secret to Ken's appeal.

_What do you think I'm thinking, Ken?_

_What don't you want me to know?_

Takeru was beginning to get a good idea.

Looking down at Miyako, Takeru felt a rush of admiration. She probably had as little clue to Ken's true feelings as Daisuke did. And yet here she was, giving Ken a look of concern. Wondering what was wrong, wanting to help. Miyako might have a galaxy-sized crush on Ken, but she also sincerely cared.

"This will probably take a while," Takeru said, dropping into Daisuke's vacated seat. He took a sip from Daisuke's drink as well; no use wasting it.

"Ah, Ken?" Miyako looked at Ken shyly. "While we're waiting for them to return… How about a dance?"

Ken had been staring into his lap, obviously trying to get a grip on his feelings, but now he looked up. He looked a bit startled. His eyes widened. "Miyako?"

That wasn't a no. Miyako nodded slowly, and leaned forward. "Would you mind terribly?" Her voice was even quieter and shyer than before.

Although Takeru was inclined to find Ken diverting, he still clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes. It might be expecting too much to hope for Ken to do the right thing by Miyako while dealing with his own rash of secret feelings. Nevertheless, Takeru hoped. He held his breath. _Say yes_, he felt himself pleading mentally. _Say yes._

Ken stood up, and bowed towards Miyako in a courtly manner.

"Miss Inoue, will you do me the honor?"

. + .

Hikari shaded her eyes against the blinding sun in the barren desert. Why had Daisuke chosen this place, the location of the fall of the Digital Kaiser's flying fortress, the place where Ken had started on the path of redemption?

Daisuke was a few paces from her. He had let go of her hand once they'd arrived. Now he was standing in the light of that blazing sun, his earlier flash of anger somehow spent. Daisuke ran his fingers through his hair, looking at her quickly and then looking away. Lost.

It was clear he didn't know what to say, how to start. Hikari would help him. "What's wrong?"

Burdening Hikari with a tormented, hollow look, Daisuke just started to kick at the sand. All right, that didn't work. Time to try again.

It would be tempting to put her arms around him, and Hikari wanted to. But that would be wrong. "Is it me?" she asked, lowering her voice to a near-whisper. "Are you still mad at me?"

This, at least, prompted a reaction. "I was never mad at you!"

Should she believe him? Could she?

Hikari took a step closer. Whatever this was about, it might be helpful for her not to immediately jump to the conclusion that this was all about her. Tai's remembered words stung her heart.

_I take too much upon myself._

Hikari elected to believe. More importantly, she elected to give herself a break.

"Am I the person you want to be talking to right now, then?" Hugging might be a bad idea, but putting her hand on his shoulder wasn't. "Who are you mad at?" Daisuke's small body trembled under her touch, but he did not pull away. Neither did she.

"Daisuke…" Hikari very deliberately looked around, daisy-print dress flapping in the breeze. "Why are we _here_?"

Daisuke decompressed in front of her eyes. He slouched, hands clutching his knees, and when he spoke it was in the voice of a sob. "I don't know." Hikari put a comforting arm around his shoulder, but it was only to guide him down to sit. "I'm so confused." Once settled, she pulled her arm back and put her hands in her lap.

"What happened?" she prompted, bringing her head down and tilting it to the side, looking up at him encouragingly. "Something happened."

"I was going to try win you back!" Daisuke's lips trembled, and then his words rushed out, unburdening his heart. "And then Ken and I fought, and then he said none of you were his friends, and I got drinks, and then Miyako was taking advantage of him, and anyway I don't like dances."

_Back?_ Hikari coughed faintly. Should she…?

No, best to let that go and work on unraveling the mess of Daisuke's incoherent woes. "Ken said that?" She'd start with the part that seemed most likely to be under a cloud of hyperbole. "He hates us?"

Daisuke gave her a panicked look. "No… that's not right… I meant, he thinks you are all _my_ friends. That everyone… doesn't like him…"

Was anyone more talented than Daisuke in giving her a headache? Setting aside his plans to 'win her back,' Hikari knew that was not the issue at hand… If Daisuke was still feeling woes over her, he'd be more likely to take them to someone else. To Ken, maybe.

She looked up at the cloudless sky, squinting thoughtfully. Ken. Daisuke sure did spend a lot of time with him, didn't he? And now here he was, practically crying over some strange misunderstanding he was having with the other boy. And what was Ken doing, saying such stupid things? Hikari knew that Ken couldn't _really_ believe that everyone besides Daisuke hated him. So either he'd said something very different and Daisuke had interpreted it wrong, or Ken had been upset and rashly said things he didn't mean.

Who knew what was going on here? But one thing was clear. "It really upsets you to fight with Ken, doesn't it?"

Daisuke nodded miserably.

"Why?"

. + .

Miyako was in a state of near shock, but as Ken lead her to the dance floor she had the presence of mind to nod to the DJ. It was a weak nod, but it sufficed. As the current song wound down, the DJ cued up her favorite romantic song. Well. Maybe not her _favorite_ favorite, not the ultimate favorite. But it had the advantage of being a long song, clocking in at over six minutes. Practically twice the length of your average ballad. It was all very strategic: a longer song meant more time in the divine arms of Ken Ichijouji.

Now that she was in his arms, she realized that six minutes was _nothing_.

Ken smelled so good. Cheek pressed against his shoulder, her head was turned inward against his neck. The corner of her lips touched the collar of his shirt. His body felt warm against her own, and he softly held her body by the waist. She breathed in once, a great big breath encompassing the entirety of this moment.

It felt so right. Why couldn't she stay like this forever?

. + .

Hikari listened. It was something she was always very, very good at.

Daisuke went on for some time, in his broken and gnomic way.

He thought she was so perfect. But she knew better. Hadn't she just been pretending not to notice Daisuke's feelings, playing dumb so as to string him along? Hadn't it been flattering, to be the subject of someone else's unrequited heartbreak? Hadn't it been delicious, to notice the occasional flash of worry in Takeru's usually unflappable countenance, knowing that it was her love that he was anxious to secure?

She was cruel, sometimes. Just like the way Ken was cruel. Sometimes.

It would have been nice if Takeru had been here. But he wasn't, and this time she couldn't rely on anyone other than herself to be the perfect friend everyone deluded themselves into thinking she was.

She believed in her positive attitude. The face she showed to the world, the face which made her so beloved. But now it was time to drop pretense, and be real.

"You don't love me," she said bluntly, with a finality of tone that brooked no disagreement. "You never did, I think."

"What are you talking about?" Daisuke gave her a watery eyed look of disbelief, sniffling slightly. "You're perfect. Of course I love you."

Of course. "Do you love every perfect person who crosses your path?" she asked. Tartly, but with a softness of intent that cleared her from coming off as mocking.

"No!"

"I played you," she said quietly. "Is that something a perfect person would do?" Hikari paused, and then started to doodle a picture in the sand. "I don't think it was very nice, personally."

Daisuke opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. She smiled slightly. He was too honest to negate the fundamental truth of what she was saying.

"I have no right to tell you how you feel," she relented. "If you want to think you love me, fine. But I think you're lying to yourself."

"Why would I do that?"

"Well. Perhaps you had someone else in mind."

Daisuke blinked.

Hikari looked away. This was going to be hard. She was half a mind not to say anything at all. But in the dissertation of Daisuke's sorrows, Hikari could not help but notice a common theme. And it was said that people tended to be attracted to the same type of people over and over again.

She and Ken were a lot alike, in some ways.

Ken could hurt him. Perhaps it would be best to allow Daisuke to remain ignorant. If it were all that important, if Daisuke's feelings were real, then he should be able to figure it out himself someday.

But she owed him, Hikari decided. Daisuke bringing her to this place: wasn't that a cry for help? A cry from the heart? From a boy who didn't know how to translate his own feelings?

Sometimes being a friend meant that you had to forget about doing the 'right' thing, and just do what _felt_ right.

"I think you like Ken, Daisuke." Digital sunlight warmed her face. "I think you _like_ Ken."

. + .

author's note: another substantially altered chapter!


	9. Switching Places

+ switching places +

The ocean was frozen miles deep, a black ice reflecting weak stars, and in the middle of that ocean was a wall. How long he'd trudged over this empty field, the Kaizer did not know.

_Be still, child_. The ice sang to him, casting a spell over his dark-poisoned heart. Promising a lonely forever. _Forget_.

The Kaizer approached the wall made of smoky ice, polished smooth so that the surface was like glass. He touched the ice with a gloved hand, and when he did the ice hissed, a thin white fog of smoke curling up into the air. There was a body trapped in the wall, a corpse. Unclear, difficult to descry. But there.

The corpse's eyes were closed, and its face was calm, and it was wearing clothes of blue and white and gold. Looking at it, the Kaizer felt a heaviness in his chest, a constricting oppressive feeling.

He leaned forward, lips almost touching the ice, and exhaled. Fog ghosted from his lips to the ice.

_Sleep_.

.+.

The song, Miyako's song, ended. Gently, Ken pressed his hands into her hips, pushing her back slightly.

"Mm?"

If only she could find an excuse to linger, if even for just a moment longer. But Ken wanted her to stand up straight, so she did. Miyako lifted her head slowly and took a step back.

Ken's hands stayed on her body as he looked down at her. The warmth through her dress felt as if it would burn her skin. His smile was the same as from when they'd been speaking earlier.

_I just want to have my chance_, Miyako thought as she scanned his face. _Please, give me my chance._

"That was nice." For a moment his eyes locked with hers, and she felt hope. "Thanks, Miyako. I really appreciate it." And then his gaze turned.

Miyako was in the middle of nodding, she hadn't even replied yet, when he looked first through her and then beyond her. He frowned.

It was impossible to resist: Miyako turned her head to look where he was looking, and saw that he was staring at their table. Takeru was still sitting there, and he was still alone.

Miyako turned back to Ken, and was about to ask him what was wrong, but the look in his eyes caused the question to die on her lips. His frown was… angry? Upset? Whatever it was, it had a quality his earlier smiles for her did not: genuine emotion, not mere courtesy.

Oh.

Ha. Miyako took another step backwards, and Ken's hands fell unresistingly from her body. She gave him a tight grin that hurt a little in her cheeks. Funny, sad, how a chance could come and go and turn out to be no chance at all.

_I will never forget you._

Ken's reaction smacked of foregone conclusion. Ken... was already looking beyond her.

_I will never forget this dance._

After a long pause in which Ken's attention wafted away into lonely silence, the Chosen Child of Purity and Love took a deep breath. "Well, no problem," she said, punching his shoulder as if he were Daisuke. Not enough to hurt, of course. Not nearly enough for that. _We will never dance again._ "I'm… well, I've got some things I need to check on. Party queen duties, and all that. I'll talk to you." She paused. He looked at her again briefly, distracted. "Later!"

_It's over.  
_  
With a small wave, she was gone.

.+.

Still no Daisuke.

What was taking him so long, anyway? Why wasn't Hikari back? Why was she indulging him when she obviously didn't _like_ him? And why was Takeru _still here_, looking so relaxed and disgustingly unconcerned?

Ken waved Miyako off.

Takeru had been playing with his phone, apparently texting, but now he looked up and stared back at Ken.

It was an invitation. Maybe a challenge. Ken accepted. Crossing the dance floor directly, Ken ignored the various children who made way for him, and he didn't think about what it meant that people his own age gave way for him when he was moving and they were not.

He never thought about those kind of things. This was a part of what made him Ken Ichijouji.

"How was your dance?" Takeru asked upon Ken's approach, putting his phone down on the table and picking up a straw instead. He started bending it, folding it into a triangle. He was smiling, but there was something else in Takeru's smile, a look Ken did not like or appreciate. "That was one of Miyako's favorite songs, you know."

What did that have to do with anything? And why was Takeru looking at him like that? It was that same insufferable smirk that he'd made when-- _You little maggot! Maggot! Shut up!_. Ken remembered the sound his whip made cutting into Takeru's cheek. _And now it's my turn…_

Ken halted that thought. Takeru always had a special talent for getting under his skin. He'd given Ken several of these probing looks this evening, and each time it made Ken feel uncomfortably exposed. "It was a pretty song," he said finally, once he knew that his irritability was under control.

"Yes." For some reason this answer passed muster, because Takeru stopped making that face of his.

There was so much Ken wanted to say. So much he wanted to ask. How could Takeru say he cared for Hikari when he just sat around while his rival was off wooing her? Where did he get off treating Daisuke so lightly? Was Takeru so confident in his own powers of attraction that he couldn't conceive of Daisuke as a threat? These were all big mistakes. It was tempting to point them all out, with withering scorn.

But Ken wasn't like that anymore, didn't want to be like that. And more importantly, he didn't want to give Takeru any more ammunition against him. Whatever Takeru thought Ken's feelings where, whatever surmise he'd made, Ken didn't care-- except that he just couldn't be sure that Takeru's thoughts might not make their way back to Daisuke somehow.

"I… uh." Ken finally moved to sit down. "I guess it's just us."

"Yeah." Takeru pushed one of the glasses of soda Daisuke had brought across the table, towards Ken. "Ditched by our dates."

"Daisuke isn't my date." Ken clenched his fists and looked at the floor.

"What? He asked you to the dance, and you accepted." The music overhead was fast paced; apparently Miyako had arranged for there to be a break in the slow songs for a while. Takeru tapped his straw-triangle on the table. "That makes you his date."

_Shut up. Please, shut up._ "… no. I'm really not." Ken's cheek's felt warm. "I'm just here for moral support."

"Moral support."

"Yes. He… needed something to help him feel better." _About your girlfriend_. "I was just trying to help."

"Oh, I see." Takeru nodded. "Is that why you keep looking at me like you want to sic Chimeramon on me?"

Ken flinched, stung. "You should have went after her," he mumbled, still keeping his gaze down.

They shared a moment of relative quiet in this room full of chattering children.

Because he was looking down, it surprised Ken and he jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. "Let's go, then."

Ken looked up. It was Takeru. "…go?"

Takeru shrugged. "To look for them." Was that compassion in his eyes? "I'm sure everything's fine though."

How could he be so sure? Ken stood, shaky. "Why not." He couldn't help but feel that he'd been humiliatingly routed. And somehow he couldn't even make himself care.

He just wanted to be where Daisuke was.

.+.

Iori was lying on the floor in his bedroom. He wasn't happy.

"What's an absconder, Iori?" Upamon bounced up and down next to him, reading the text message still open on Iori's cell.

"Daisuke," Iori answered absently. "It means he stole off with something."

Or someone. As far as Iori was concerned, Daisuke's drama was the least interesting part of Takeru's message.

"Like candy??"

Iori didn't answer, although he did grab Upamon and hug the in-training form of his Digimon partner close to his chest.

_Lol that dirty absconder took off with Hikari. Miyako got her dance in but idk if there will be another. Ken is having kittens._

What should he do? Iori had predicted disaster for Miyako from the get-go, although he'd had the grace not to tell her that. For a moment he thought about consulting Koushiro, who seemed to have a particular affinity and fondness for Miyako that matched his own feelings, but ultimately decided not to.

What did it mean that Ken was "having kittens?" Was he that allergic to girls? Daisuke's ridiculous behavior was nothing but par for the course, so Iori ignored it, but the bits about Ken and Miyako were tantalizingly, frustratingly vague. Perhaps he should text Takeru for clarification.

And get another cryptic, albeit grammatically correct, text? No thanks.

"I should probably just leave them alone, huh, Upamon?"

That would be best, wouldn't it? Miyako was a mature and responsible girl. Iori had faith in her poise. And yet…

"Let that criminal get away with his crimes? No way!"

Iori looked down at Upamon. That was… a good point. Except not in regards to Daisuke. Although it was far too early and unfair to label Ken a criminal simply because he was apparently breaking Miyako's heart, did that change that her heart was breaking? Could Iori just sit by and let his friend suffer alone? The small boy smiled.

"Maybe you're right." Iori stood up and placed Upamon on his bed, grabbing some yogurt snacks from his desk and giving them to the greedy Digimon. "If it's a matter of honor, I guess I just can't back down."

He'd have to vindicate Daisuke later. For now, he had a dance to attend to.

.+.

The layout of Odaiba Elementary was nothing unusual, but that didn't mean that Ken was familiar with it. Since it was evening and the only part of the school officially "open" was the gymnasium, only the security lighting was on, giving the hallways a ghostly air.

"Almost there."

This is why Ken had no idea where "there" was. He suffered no temptation to ask, knowing with canny insight that he'd find out soon enough without saying a word. Takeru looked back at Ken, but when he saw that Ken wasn't going to ask any questions he turned back to leading the way.

Takeru clearly had some theory as to where Daisuke and that Hikari had gone.

When Takeru opened the door to a nondescript room on the second floor and Ken saw the banks of computers, he developed a theory too. One of the monitor screens was lit, and even from the entrance Ken could see the familiar portal interface of a Gate.

"What is he…?" Ken could not muffle the despair choking his heart.

"Your faith in Daisuke's powers as a Casanova is pretty amazing," Takeru noted dryly.

"I didn't mean…"

Takeru pulled out a chair at one of the desks near the open Gate. "Might as well make ourselves comfy." He frowned. "Should have brought my drink."

Ken simply stared. He had no words.

Takeru looked at Ken calmly. "I trust Hikari."

_Do you trust Daisuke?_

The unspoken question was clear. After a moment, Ken nodded.

.+.

Miyako was in the bathroom, washing her face. For the fifth time. He makeup had long since gone down the drain, but as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she was marginally pleased to notice that her hair was still in place, her dress unmussed. Well, at least she could leave the school with her head held high. Several of her friends had come in to congratulate her on her dance with Ken. What a coup! Their words died as they looked at the girl sobbing over the sink. This was not a scene of happiness.

Most were cowards. They fled the pain.

A few remained, but they didn't know what to do. However, their faithfulness was rewarded with a marvelous site. The bathroom door opened, and Iori marched in, caring not a whit that he was trespassing in a girl's world. He walked up to Miyako, and since she was bent over, his head was on a level with hers.

"Let's go home."

. + .

**author's note**: it's not easy to completely rewrite these chapters while still adhering to the basic story. This chapter ended up being especially challenging because the original version was full of exposition, random POV shifts, and stupid things happening for no reason (like Iori just spontaneously deciding Miyako needed him as if he were psychic or something). I like this version much better. It's probably not perfect, but that's okay, I'm just aiming for a passing grade.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!


	10. Fever

+ fever +

Ah, he and Hikari had talked for ages, literally _ages_.

It had to be at least 8:30 by now, which was terribly late... the dance was most certainly winding down, if not all the way over. Daisuke stifled a yawn; it was dangerously close to bedtime, either way.

"So, want to go back?" Hikari was asking, her smile suggesting that she already knew the answer to be "yes." Although, it was not entirely impossible that her smile was a summoning spell, creating the "yes" in his mind in such as way as to make him feel like he'd wanted to return all along. Hikari had mysterious powers and Daisuke believed all was possible.

Daisuke nodded, a bit shakily. He was ready, he thought.

Together they stood, Hikari dusting herself off primly while Daisuke did nothing of the sort. It would be nice if Chibimon could come bounding over, so Daisuke could have him in his arms to hold as he went back into the real world. If only he'd had such mystical foresight. Alas, Chibimon was in the real world already, back in his bedroom, playing cards or video games or something. Completely useless, as far as emboldening Daisuke was concerned.

The gate was nearby, so the walk there took less than a minute. Daisuke gestured for Hikari to go before him, ladies first, and after she disappeared he paused, took a deep breath, and in a moment followed suit.

It would all be fine.

He'd just go back to the dance, somehow extract Ken from Miyako's predatory clutches, nonchalantly boast at Takeru for awhile about his superior Hikari wooing strategies (Hikari would understand), get some punch to drink, force Ken out onto the dance floor for one of the fast dances, nobly ward off all of the girls who dared say "OMG," ...and use that time to covertly decide if Hikari's theories were correct. Daisuke closed his eyes; the whirl of lights from the digital wormhole was interfering with his thoughts. Was Hikari right? And if she was, did it even matter?

After all, if Hikari was unattainable, like a star, Ken was unattainable like a star... _in a totally new and uncharted dimension_.

There was no way it could be reciprocated. No way.

Except... well, Hikari disagreed. And when was she ever wrong about anything?

The thought made him feel funny in his stomach.

He needed to think. Usually Ken was the one who helped him think, but this time he was on his own. So all he had to do was watch, and observe, and see, and keep his mouth shut, and fail to be a dingobutt, and be suave, and try not to paint his mental travails on his normally stoic face, and....

The music stopped.

Daisuke opened his eyes, narrowly escaping crashing into Hikari as he jumped back into the real world. Yes, that is what he would do. He just needed to march on out of here, right past Takeru and Ken, and go back into that dance where he could...

"Uh... Daisuke?"

Daisuke turned around to look back at Hikari, who had stopped where she landed and was now giving him a curious head tilt. And as he did, his lagging conscious awareness started helpfully rewinding the mental movie of the last few seconds, which caused him to slowly turn his head a little more, where he saw and belatedly _registered_ the presence of Takeru, who was leaning back in a chair with his legs up on a desk, peering at him quizzically with a vague little smile, as well as Ken, who was. Who was. Ken, who was _Ken_.

"Wow. Hi." Daisuke rubbed at the back of his head awkwardly, looking down at the floor with an uncontrollable grin. "W-what are _you_ doing here?"

"Good one," Takeru murmured. Ken shifted, straightening up where he sat.

"I mean--" Whenever Ken did that sitting up thing, that meant that Daisuke had committed some obscure social faux pas. Crap. Why was he always doing wrong things that made people think he was an idiot? Daisuke struggled to rein in his wayward grin, but he could not help but find his gaze flickering back again and again to Ken's face, searchingly, pleadingly. Beseechingly. "Thanks for waiting up for us?"

This earned him a brisk, business-like nod from Ken.

Takeru, for his part, reached over to pat on Ken's shoulder in an oddly comforting manner-- how dare he! -- before standing up and brushing off the front of his pant legs, as if there were anything there.

With her usual enchantingly uncalculated grace, Hikari stepped up to stand face to face with Takeru.

Her boyfriend.

"Did you save me a dance?" she asked, soft and assured.

Normally, Daisuke would interject to share his wisdom at such a moment, pointing out that no one else would ask Takeru to dance in any case. But he was already juggling too much information in his overclocked brain as it was, so graciously he kept mum while Takeru smarmed his usual smarm. "Of course," was the predictable answer from the Digidork of Hope and Ostentatious Prickery. Takeru reached out his hand, which Hikari took. "Let's go, then," she said, tossing a throwaway smile Daisuke's way. "Be good," she murmured, and then together the two of them kind of whisked out of the room, each laughing as if they'd orchestrated some amusing fete.

Or, as Ken might say, Fait de Coup d'Etat.

"Hmm, that was interesting."

How did it turn out that he was suddenly alone with Ken? Daisuke slouched forward, curling his shoulders into a slump of shame and panic and stuttering apprehension. Not only was he alone with Ken, he was alone with Furious Ken. The judgmental one, the one who was unfortunately always right, and who definitely had a right to be peeved right now, considering how callously Daisuke had left Ken alone, to deal with his rabid fangirls plus/minus Miyako.

"I'm sorry," he said, already defeated. It didn't really matter if he liked Ken or not. The point had to be moot.

"Sorry?" Ken's voice raised slightly in pitch, while still remaining low and dangerous. Daisuke risked a cringing glance. Unsurprisingly, Ken was glaring, but surprisingly, it was not at him. Instead, Ken was glaring at the door through which the recently departed Chosen Children had fled. "Those two are shameless." A flash of Kaizer-level scorn. "Especially her."

Her? Hikari?

"No, it's my fault," Daisuke mumbled, feeling even more guilty now that he was hearing Hikari wrongly blamed. "I'm the one who forced her..."

"Yes, but she doesn't need to be so obvious about it."

"Uh... huh?"

"It's just rubbing salt in your wounds when she acts like that. Surely you can see it."

Yeah. No. Ken totally had the wrong idea about Hikari. As much as it might be nice to allow Ken to smolder on, fuming at her from afar, it wasn't right or just, not when Daisuke was the one who needed to shoulder the blame. Time to summon some of that famed recklessness (aka "courage") of his. "She... we... I needed to talk. To her." Wouldn't it be nice to just wander off now, going home to bury himself in his bed forever? "About Things." Yeah, it so totally would.

"Yes, I know," Ken said, with what sounded like wounded patience. "Didn't we go over this already?"

Daisuke nodded numbly. "Yes. But instead, we talked about... other Things."

Since Daisuke was now looking steadily at Ken, having slowly unhunched himself as he remembered his resolve, he had a good opportunity to see how Ken blinked at this. Not once, but twice, his frown fading away into stubborn puzzlement. "Other things?"

He had to be honest. "M-Miyako."

Well, glancingly honest. Ken stopped looking towards the door, and looked at Daisuke instead.

"Miyako?"

Daisuke nodded.

"Why?"

Ugh. Why, indeed. Why was he so bad at all this emotion stuff? Why did Daisuke always act on his feelings, usually without thinking things over first? He was always getting into these sorts of pickles. It wasn't like he had any plan when he'd dragged Hikari off into the Digital World earlier, after all. He never had plans, well, almost never. Daisuke knew that running off half-cocked was one of his trademark, signature moves. If he was famous for anything, it was that. But what good did it do him to be aware of this trait of his, this flaw, if he did it again and again? Like he was almost certainly going to do again, like right now...

"_I_ want to be your number one fan," Daisuke blurted out. "And friend, of course," he added, to sound a little less pathetic. "I have _dibs_.."

Maybe Hikari was right.

Ken became completely still. For a moment he narrowed his eyes, as if entertaining some distasteful thought, and when he did that he looked temporarily predatorial. But whatever he saw in Daisuke's face caused him to soften, and then calm. "I'm not interested in having you as a fan," he said levelly. "And you are already my friend." There was a pause. "My best friend."

Daisuke was surprised, like he always was surprised, by the rapidity of the happiness that overcame him just then. Those words. Daisuke knew it already, really, but to hear Ken say them. He actually said them!

And just like that, Daisuke forgot completely about Miyako.

Taking an unconscious step forward, Daisuke clasped his hands together, almost squirming in gratitude. "Say it again," he demanded, with shining eyes.

"You're my best friend?" Ken's voice became quieter. Unsure.

Daisuke took another step forward. "Again."

A faint flush of pink stained Ken's cheeks. "My best friend."

"Again!"

"Uh..." Ken looked down, and away. "You're my best friend."

Daisuke grabbed Ken's hand. "_Again_."

"You're my best friend," Ken said, and it was hardly more than a whisper. "You'll always be my best friend."

Okay. So what if it were moot? Daisuke had rarely felt happier then he did in this very moment. Love, like, admiration, a crush, a fancy, desire, whatever. _Whatever._ He knew that people tended to find him frightening, when he switched on like this, showing off his embarrassing and often humiliating intensity. But it never bothered Ken, did it? Ken never laughed or recoiled.

Maybe Hikari was right.

"Thank you," Daisuke said, startling Ken with a spontaneous (and very fierce) embrace. "_Thank you_."

Daisuke was clumsy, and small. Ken stiffened, jaw clenched and hands in tight fists at his side, a form of resistance which Daisuke hardly noticed. Ken felt so warm. And mm. Hey, he smelled kind of good too, didn't he? Daisuke pressed his forehead into Ken's shoulder. This was bad. He was totally copping a feel, right? But if he was lucky, Ken wouldn't be paying attention to that.

Did this feel good? Like, gooooood good? Was this the kind of feeling Daisuke had wanted, when he wanted to hold Hikari?

How did people figure out this kind of stuff?

How did they _know_?

Bah. Daisuke didn't remember how he knew, when he'd fallen in love with Hikari. He didn't know why he didn't really love her now, although it surprised him as this thought occurred to him. Knowing probably wasn't that important. Thinking had never been his strongest suit, so why bother with it now? Daisuke had instinct, and people just didn't understand, how instinct made him smart too. Going with the flow... similar to going off half-cocked, wasn't it? Except when you looked at it one way, it was a flaw, and in another, it was a real strength.

Daisuke wanted to be strong. He needed to be.

With a certain awkwardness, he realized that he had to end this hug right now, end it or eternally be branded a creep by his Best Friend Forever.

Sighing, he let go, dropping his arms, shuffling backwards a little. "Thanks," he said again, looking down, not able to meet Ken's gaze, with a smile too fresh and brazen to be contained. "I, I- I feel the same way."

There was a difference with Hikari, he realized.

He had never been friends with Hikari.


	11. Passion and Charm

+ passion and charm +

It was not fair.

Takeru said, "trust." Have faith. But what exactly was he supposed to believe in? Daisuke's friendship?

Ken never doubted it.

That hug had been completely unexpected. It was unfair; usually Ken could see Daisuke's outbursts coming. He could prepare himself to properly savour the moment. If he'd had half a guess that Daisuke was going to break out with a hug, of all things, he could have had his nerves ready. His arms would be slightly loose, ready to return the hug, whereas his skin would have been tingling, primed to soak in the warmth of Daisuke's body through their clothes. He could have closed his eyes in the moment, drinking it all in. Sinking, sinking... losing himself, if only for a moment.

He could have pretended, for a moment, that he really was Daisuke's date at this dance.

"I'm tired," Ken said, carefully neutral.

It was impossible for Daisuke to want him _that way_.

"Uh... okay." Daisuke smiled for a moment, then frowned in a worried way, looking down and to the side, and then smiled again, waveringly.

After all, looking at him, all Ken saw was a boy who couldn't look him in the eyes.

This was new. Daisuke was so impulsive. So free with his emotions, so open and caring. So obviously desirous of protecting their precious friendship. It was one of the reasons Ken loved him so much. Daisuke was an innocent, a complete innocent. He'd never learned to hide his feelings behind a protective shell. The reason he always was doing things that seemed embarrassing or humiliating was because it never occurred to him not to.

"I'm sorry I made a big deal of you not telling me your plans." Ken turned around, walking not towards the door but rather to the row of windows framing the dark. "You don't need to try so hard to get me to fit in." Nor did he need to worry that Ken would ever find another best friend. "Miyako..."

"Loves you," Daisuke interrupted bluntly.

Ken touched the glass. The light of the room behind him spilled out into the night, broken by a Ken-shaped shadow where his reflection was.

Yes, he knew that. He didn't like to think about it, but he knew.

"I'm sorry I acted all jealous." Daisuke mumbled, and Ken tried not to sigh.

"It's fine." Ken pressed his finger harder against the glass, pulling it down with a squeak. "I believe you, I know you want me to be friends with everyone." The room was so quiet, he could hear the tick of the clock on the wall. _You don't need to worry that Miyako is going to steal my friendship away from you._

For a while, there was absolutely no response, but then Daisuke walked up behind him, and Ken startled as he felt a pressure between his shoulder blades. Daisuke's forehead on his back. And then he was hugged from behind, and for a moment Ken stopped breathing.

"Just because I like Hikari doesn't mean she's my best friend," Daisuke said, arms tightening around Ken's waist, arms crossed right along the lower part of his belly. A squirming pang shot through Ken's chest, dangerously pleasant. It was all he could do to hold still, freezing up so he would not shudder or shake. "You are. No... no matter what happens, this will always be true."

This was strange. Hideously strange, and wrong. Ken wanted to make Daisuke stop, because there was no way Daisuke would want to touch him if he knew how Ken _really _felt. Allowing it felt like a lie. It felt like he was pretending to be something he wasn't. A boy who was not in love with Daisuke.

But it was impossible. Ken swallowed, closed his eyes tight, and struggled to imagine that he was far, far away. Once upon a time he'd been the kind of boy who wanted people to believe lies about him, who enjoyed when people praised him, and thought nothing about accepting such praise, feeling both that it was empty and that he was entitled to it.

That boy had died the day Wormmon did.

It was impossible. Ken could not lie to Daisuke anymore. His control was slipping, because it just hurt too much to pretend.

"Let go of me," Ken whispered. _Don't make me do something we'll both regret._

... but all Daisuke did was pull him closer, rubbing his face against Ken's back.

_Grow up_, his heart screamed. Whether to himself or to Daisuke, Ken could not say. _Don't you know I'm untouchable?_ Why was Daisuke being so stupid? So dense? Why had he never learned that friends just never were this intimate? It was improper to cling so tightly and so long to someone one didn't love. And of course Daisuke didn't love him; how could he, when he always had been and always would be in love with Hikari? Twisting his head to the side, craning awkwardly, Ken turned to look down at the top of Daisuke's head. His cheek rubbed against soft brown spikes of hair.

"...What did Hikari say?"

As a grab for casualness, that was not too bad. After all, all of this happiness of Daisuke's probably was because of Hikari, and even if Daisuke had once more deluded himself into believing that there was hope for his feelings, Ken would not stand in the way_. I'll be your good friend, the friend you want me to be, the person you think I am. I owe you nothing less. _ Honesty was all very well, but Ken knew his own desire to confess was built out of both selfishness and nihilism, and therefore... even though he didn't want anyone to believe lies about him, least of all Daisuke... Ken would relent. He would. He had to.

Daisuke continued to hide his face, but his whole body was vibrating with some poorly suppressed feeling. Ken could feel the vibrations just as well as he could feel the warmth... Daisuke was happy, and relieved, and Ken felt his own blood flush cold through his veins. And Ken's premonition seemed to be coming true as Daisuke mumbled into Ken's back. "It's embarrassing," Daisuke said. "I.. I don't know how..."

If something was going on that even Daisuke felt was difficult to say, it had to be bad. Ken steeled himself.

"What did she say?" Ken repeated, quieter and more gently than before, but in a way that communicated increased sternness.

"Ah... um. Well. You know, I guess I'm an idiot... I, I... she told me that I love you." Daisuke laughed, far too loud and heartily. His words tumbled out in a nervous rush. "I..I... I- think she's, that she might be, uh... no, that she is. S-she's... right."

A nervous, pathetically hopeful and huddled rush.

And Daisuke pulled in tighter, squeezing Ken so hard it almost hurt.

"What?"

_What?_

_You love me?_

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything, I don't care, you're my friend, you don't have to be anything more, but... Please, please... I don't want to be like I was before, and I'm not going to be a bother. But..."

"Oh Daisuke." Oh Daisuke. Oh, Daisuke. Daisuke...

_Are you serious?_

_Do you mean it?_

_Can it possibly be true?_

Ken continued. "I... see."

For a minute there was nothing but the sound of heavy breathing; Ken's own, Daisuke's. Ken thought about ice, an ocean of ice, thick and vast, but with dark water gleaming underneath, reflecting an unseasonable sunlight. So many dangerous things lived in that water under the ice. Black cruelty, selfish caprice. Death. The dead. Osamu.

Ken took a deep breath. Daisuke had not moved a millimeter. "... you're sure?"

"Yes, I... but." Daisuke, too, seemed to take a breath, heaving. "Yes." Gathering courage. "Yes."

_I love you too._

"Really." Gently Ken disentangled himself from Daisuke's clinging arms, tugging carefully at his hands to pull them up off his body, giving himself space. Space to turn, which he did swiftly, pulling Daisuke into a crushing embrace of his own. "Really."

_I always have._

Daisuke looked up, brown eyes wide, gaping, a ridiculous jagged smile twitching across his face. "Yeah, totally," he said, sounding like he was bragging. Except that he wasn't. "Hikari says that I felt like this the whole time, and she's probably right, you know, since she's always right." Daisuke's eyes were blazing, full of self-congratulation, so very impressed with himself. Cocky. Except that he wasn't. "Which is why... Miyako. You know, Miyako... she loves you too. She does. But. I. Think I love you as much, maybe more, but you know not the way she does, because..." Daisuke laughed, so confident, fearless. Except that he wasn't. "...well, you remember, how amazing and awesome it was, when we Jogress Digivolved Veemon and Wormmon into Paildramon, and our hearts... you remember?"

"I remember."

_I always will. _

Daisuke just stared at him, and Ken stared back. It felt like they were going to kiss. "Is that okay?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Ken nodded. A tear rolled down his cheek; strange, he didn't feel like crying... and it was only the one tear. _You make this so easy, Daisuke. Too easy. _Even more strange, Ken didn't feel any of the lust he expected to feel, none of the lust that he usually felt all of the time.

Mostly he felt guilt... guilt that Daisuke had to stumble through this all on his own, putting himself out there, putting his feelings and reputation on the line, so recklessly. _Like you always do._ Giving Ken so much shelter, protecting him, being courageous so that Ken didn't have to. _It's not fair. _

Before Davis had a chance to take another breath, or say another word, Ken pushed him backwards roughly and began kissing him, thoroughly.

This was something more than lust. The lust would come, Ken knew it. But the desperation he felt was bigger than any lust. Bigger even than any love. Roughly, he grabbed Daisuke's hair, and he opened his mouth onto Daisuke's.

It was not fair.


	12. The Forming Shrine

+ the forming shrine +

No way.

Ken was kissing him? No way. Too freakin' cool!

Daisuke stepped back in surprise as Ken pressed against his body, drawing Daisuke closer. It was only a small half step, his heel not even going all the way down before he reversed momentum to clumsily plunge forward instead, lips ramming into Ichijouji's pretty hard. Oops.

This whole confession business appeared to be going extremely well. Hikari had been right, Veemon would be happy, Miyako maybe not so much, and Takeru. Well, Takeru could just eat his shorts. Everybody else was left out of it. Daisuke kept his eyes open, avidly fascinated with the way Ken had closed his.

Ken was using tongue. Daisuke had never kissed with tongue before, and it has been kind of weird at first, a little gross, but after a few seconds he decided it was cool, super cool... too freaking cool! He liked it. So he made noises to show so, "mrr" and "mrmm" and "mmm..." and he smiled into the kiss, in bliss. Ken was his best friend, his _best _friend, and had said so fifty million times. It was, like, totally a done deal.

And so when the kiss was over, Daisuke made sure to put his arms around Ken's waist, this time not hiding that he was copping a feel of Ken's back, fingers from one hand tracing up and down the silky shirt to feel the bumps of bones underneath. Daisuke grinned. "_Nice_ one, Ichijouji." The look Ken was giving him was bewildered, hungry, and then Ken smiled too, in that soft warm way of his.

He really did love Ken. Hikari made him realize it. She said, "how would you feel if Ken were taken away from you? If you could never see him again?" She said, "would it make you happy if you had to spend less time with him in order to be with someone else? A lot less time?" Hardest of all: "how would you feel if Ken had himself a boyfriend, or girlfriend, and started spending a lot less time with _you_?" Ken was a boy, so he'd never puzzled through these kinds of thoughts about him before, but once Hikari pointed it out then it became obvious. Daisuke had never again felt Ken's heartbeat inside of him the way it had happened that first time with Paildramon, but right now he could feel the hard thumping of his own, and that was enough. Daisuke could feel his own excitement, could feel the way it fed back into itself to make an almost intolerable ache throughout his entire chest.

Ken was so funny. And awesome. Like, what the hell did he need to go and kiss him for? Not that Daisuke was objecting, of course, but it seemed like such an illogical next step. Boys didn't usually kiss boys, no matter how much they loved each other, right? But still, Ken did it, and didn't seem to be all that hesitant about the proprieties, so it must not be improper. Or even if it was, that would be just because people were stupid, not because Ken was wrong. Ken, unlike Hikari, was sometimes wrong, but never when it counted.

Excepting the time Ken had been the Kaizer and stuff. But that also didn't count. Daisuke had put it all the way behind him and was sure Ken had too.

"Daisuke."

Daisuke was still grinning, face flushed, when Ken cupped Daisuke's chin using both hands, tilting it up with shaking fingers. Ken was giving him the most soulful stare, eyes wide and dark, looking as if he couldn't believe his luck. He leaned in with head cocked slightly to one side, halting to pause for only a moment before dropping a light kiss on Daisuke's cheek. And then another, and another... soon it was a flurry, a dozen small flicks here, and here, and here. One cheek, then the other, then the lips, and the chin just above Ken's thumbs. Lots of kisses.

Enough to just about take Daisuke aback. It was a tremendous amount of affection. Daisuke chuckled a little, nervously. "K-Ken?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

Ken stopped mid kiss, but didn't pull back. He became very still. "Is this wrong? Isn't this okay?"

Oh Ken. Taking everything way too serious, like he always did. Of course it was okay. Just surprising. "No, keep going. It's interesting... kind of tickles. And it feels pretty good, too!"

The greatest thing about Ken was how he always knew what Daisuke meant right away. Most people seemed to find Daisuke confusing, or perplexing, or some other version of inexplicable, which Daisuke knew was mostly his own fault because he had a tendency to blurt out whatever he was thinking, and apparently wasn't all that great at getting his points across. Like, most people would probably find something about what he just said to be offensive, or off-putting, or just plain dumb. Daisuke got pegged as dumb a lot. But not by Ken. Ken always understood. So right now Ken simply shook his head, making a rueful little noise before he resumed kissing Daisuke's cheeks, but this time a lot more slowly and lingeringly.

This was nothing like how Daisuke thought kissing would be. For one thing, when he always imagined it he was doing it with Hikari. And for the next thing, he always imagined it from some perspective outside of himself, like there was a movie cameraman conveniently nearby rolling tape, editing it all into some seamless cinematic experience. Being actually inside his body while Ken was kissing him meant that Daisuke couldn't see but a fraction of what he wanted, and what he could see was all up close and from awkward angles.

It was totally great.

After what felt like ages but was probably only a minute, Ken finally stopped, wrapping his arms around Daisuke's shoulders instead, resting a cheek on his left shoulder, facing away from him. Now Daisuke closed his eyes because there was nothing to look at other than his own hands on the small of Ken's back. He didn't feel nervous anymore, but this was all still kind of embarrassing and he was a minor bit self conscious. Hikari had said that everything would work out just fine, that no matter what Ken wouldn't stop being his friend, but belatedly he realized that saying something meant changing their relationship, that it was already changed, and that they'd never be able to go back to what was before. Not that Daisuke wanted to, but it was something to think about.

Of course, everything would just be so much better. But Daisuke was a bit hazy on the details of what that meant. One thing was sure, Ken would be in his personal space a lot more frequently. And, Daisuke reminded himself with a bit of scandalous relish that he'd be able to make claims on Ken's time and body in ways he'd never dared before. Like... Daisuke opened his eyes, looking down with renewed interest at his boring old hands, watching as he snuck one finger into the top of Ken's pants waist, zipping it back and forth as if it were a pinball flipper. He could do things like this now.

Ken was laughing. It was a low murmur of a laugh, gentle and happy. Getting Ken to laugh was one of Daisuke's favorite things to do, and so knowing he had succeeded once again gave Daisuke a proud, pleased thrill of his own. "There are many benefits to having me as your number one fan," Daisuke said solemnly. "As I am sure you can see."

"Yes, many."

Ken laughed some more. Daisuke waited until he was totally done... not just stopped making the noises (any amateur could figure that out), but waiting until all the silent shaking was done too, and finally waiting until Ken relaxed into true stillness. Contented stillness, Daisuke was sure.

Daisuke had also stopped with moving his finger, although he kept it hooked under the waistband just in case. A thought occurred to him. "So... tell me what just happened."

He wanted to know. Naturally, Ken would be able to tell him.

"We became boyfriends."

"That's possible?"

"Yeah." Ken hesitated. Daisuke could feel him hesitating. "If you want it to be, that is."

"Oh, sure. I just didn't know how it worked. I thought there might be different words or something."

"Different words."

Sometimes, when Ken repeated Daisuke like that, Daisuke knew he'd crossed a line. But this time Ken just laughed some more, that same pleasant low laughter from before. So Daisuke intuited that he was being ridiculous right now, but in an okay way, a Daisuke way. The kind of ridiculous Ken seemed to especially like.

Normally Daisuke would take that amusement and run with it, becoming increasingly boastful and making a show out of it. But this time he became still himself, as Ken's words really started to sink in. Boyfriends. It sounded so wonderful. Intimidating, but wonderful. The thought made him feel shy. "I'd really like to be boyfriends with you." Quietly, at last.

"Well, it's done."

Certain implications made themselves known. "Does this mean we can hold hands now?"

"If you want." Ken shook a little as he said that, and Daisuke realized that Ken really liked that idea.

"And we can give each other stuff at Valentines?"

"Best to wait for White Day, but yes."

Daisuke cast about for other possibilities. Besides hand holding, kissing, and ritual present-giving, what else was there? "I like it," he decided.

Ken nodded into his shoulder, and then buried his face there. Daisuke held him quietly for a while, even taking his finger out of it's nesting place to bring his hands up decorously to higher on Ken's back between the shoulder blades. He could feel how happy Ken was, so he didn't say anything more, just feeling a tight ache in his chest, a burning happiness of his own. Ken loved him.

After a while, Ken pulled back, disentangling himself slowly. He stepped back but kept his hands on Daisuke's shoulders. For his part, Daisuke let his arms fall to his side and looked up at Ken quizzically, gratefully. Ken's normally pale face was tinged pink and a bit sweaty, his hair slightly disheveled and clinging to his face with strands here and there. Pretty, although that was probably not the right word.

"We'd better leave so that we don't get locked in."

Ken sounded profoundly regretful, and well he should, since Daisuke felt the same way. It sucked to have to leave right as everything was getting started, but Ken had a point. The dance had to be close to over, if not over already. They already were going to get into trouble for having snuck off on their own, at least if they got caught, and the longer they waited the more certain it would be that they'd get caught... or trapped. Which could be fun, except that in the morning there would be consequences. Even Daisuke's lazy, laid-back parents would probably be seriously annoyed, but Ken's parents... god. Disaster.

Daisuke nodded, all these thoughts flashing through his brain with electric quickness. He held his hand out, palm up, and looked at it. Hmm. He then looked up, back into Ken's eyes, and made a gesture to point at the offered hand, grinning. "Let's go."

Ken took it, interlacing his fingers with Daisuke's, and the pink in Ken's cheeks became a little bit more bright.

Together they walked slowly through the school halls, not saying anything.

. + .

They were locked in.

"It couldn't have been that long," Ken said blankly, staring along with Daisuke at the doors. They were still holding hands, Ken reluctant to let go.

"Well, I _was_ talking to Hikari forever..."

Daisuke reached out to rattle the door handle again, for the fifth time, possibly hoping for a new result. He pressed down on the bar, and Ken turned a little to watch as Daisuke made faces in his attempts to manipulate the door into openness, cajoling and outraged. Ken was grateful that Daisuke wasn't twitchy to use both hands, apparently content to just go at it with one arm, slamming at it again and again in a crescendo of frustration.

Ken wasn't too upset. He already had a couple backup plans in mind for how they could get out, if none of Daisuke's methods panned out. Plus, Daisuke's hand. Daisuke. Ken had these things now, had them in ways he had only dreamed of before. Ken rubbed his thumb over the back of Daisuke's hand, thought about their kiss. Their first kiss together. Ken's first kiss ever.

"We'll never give up, door. Do you hear me? Ichijouji Ken and Motomiya Daisuke _never_ give up."

Having made that little proclamation, Daisuke released the handle with a disgusted flourish.

Watching Daisuke was always an educational experience. Ken nodded, judging Daisuke's sentiment to be incontrovertibly correct, feeling like he was floating. He felt so light. The desire to pull Daisuke into his arms flowed over him, but Ken only continued to look. There was no need for him to speak.

Daisuke was casting his gaze around impatiently, clearly attempting to formulate some plans of his own. They were standing in the inner atrium near the front entrance, where there was a little seating area of plush couches right across from the front office, which was dark and also locked. In a glass display case nearby there was collection of dioramas, all presumably made by students from the school. In the far hall to the right a florescent light was flickering. Ken squeezed Daisuke's hand.

"Right," Daisuke said just after his hand was squeezed, going directly into a sneaky crouch. "You too," Daisuke said, tugging until Ken slowly followed suit, hunching over and giving Daisuke a questioning glance.

"Why are we hiding?" Ken asked, more curious than anything. No one else was there.

"There might be guards roaming the halls. You know, sentries. You never know."

"True." Ridiculous, but true.

Daisuke led them both over to the couches, moving to hide in front of the one closest to the office, waving for Ken to get down, get down, go, go, go. Ken wasn't sure how their problem had turned into a mission, but this was not an unexpected turn of events. He couldn't take his eyes off Daisuke, who was narrowing his eyes and biting the tip of his thumb. "Tch," Daisuke was always making the most adorable noises, the most compelling faces.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Ken hushed his voice, getting into the spirit of the thing, but more importantly he just wanted to know. Watching Daisuke was wonderful, but listening to him was even more wonderful.

"I'm thinking I can't believe Takeru left us behind to get locked in!"

Only Takeru, of course. Ken smiled shyly, the warmth burbling in his heart making him feel like he was going to burst. Only Daisuke could blame only Takeru. "Would you have wanted him coming back to find us?" He said this gently, more as a way to subtly refer to what had happened back there in the computer room. Just speaking about it, even this obliquely, made Ken feel all shivery. They were _still_ holding hands.

"No!" Daisuke visibly reddened. Not easy to discern in the dim light, but it was obvious to one as observant as Ken.

So hard to believe, that what had happened actually happened. Back then Daisuke had asked him what had happened, and Ken had provided an answer, but that didn't mean that he understood the why of it. Or the how. Hikari was involved, having apparently ordered Daisuke to confess, and for a moment Ken felt a flash of jealousy over the power she had over his best friend. Ken tried to imagine whether Daisuke would obey him so readily were he to have turned around and ordered Daisuke to point out that he also was in love with _her_. Impossible, because Ken couldn't even imagine himself doing such a thing.

Unable to help himself, Ken reached out to touch Daisuke's face once more.

From that Daisuke's breath hitched, speeding up for a few beats before slowly cycling back down to his regular rate. Ken had never dreamed that Daisuke felt any level of attraction to him. It was still hard to believe... how had all this happened, he really wanted to know. It was easier to believe that Daisuke loved him, was in love with him, than it was to believe that he wanted him. Daisuke leaned into Ken's touch a little, smiling in that huge way of his.

Ken was about to gather the courage to lean in for a second mouth-to-mouth kiss when Daisuke began to speak. "He should have texted," Daisuke said, referring back to Takeru. "_Obviously_ he shouldn't have come back, Hikari wouldn't have let him." Building up steam, Daisuke's smile transformed into annoyance as he picked up the thread of his previous thought. It was the particular aggrieved annoyance that Daisuke displayed whenever Takeru was deemed to be thwarting him in some way. "I bet they danced right up to the end, and then danced right out the freaking door, Takeru laughing the entire way." Daisuke's voice became sour; his face morose. "He probably thought he was doing us a favor. Jerk."

Okay. No kiss right now. Slowly Ken pulled his fingers from Daisuke's face only to hesitate, and then resume stroking the smooth skin of Daisuke's cheek. He had to remember that he was allowed to do this now. With a measure of reluctance, and an even greater measure of fluttering apprehension, Ken let go of Daisuke's hand, the one he'd been holding all this time, placing it on Daisuke's side instead. For a moment his fingers felt clammy, but were soon warmed back up by the heat of Daisuke's body. "Didn't he?"

"Didn't he what?"

"Do us a favor."

"Oh." Daisuke laughed a little, looking a bit self conscious. "I guess you're right. He did." The huge smile returned after a moment, Daisuke beaming at him eagerly as if Ken had said something significantly more brilliant than he actually had.

"Can I kiss you again?" Ken asked, lowly.

"Sure, why not?"

It was a bit intimidating to come in close for a kiss when Daisuke insisted on grinning like that, but there was no helping it. Ken kissed Daisuke's upper lip, then pressed his lips against Daisuke's teeth, hinting. Laughing a little, too... it was hard to feel romantic mashing into Daisuke like this. Whether Daisuke got the hint or just felt like laughing himself, he opened his mouth a little, and this was enough for Ken. This time he felt more confident, knowing what to expect, and he couldn't help but become extremely turned on.

Daisuke leaned back, Ken peeked. Daisuke's wrists were down behind him on the floor; Good. That meant he could press forward, just a little crawl at a time, prowling into him and pushing him slowly back. Ken got Daisuke all the way lying down before he finished his kiss, and then he pulled back sitting up in a pose that was falsely prim.

"You're too beautiful," Ken breathed. He wanted Daisuke so much. There had to be something wrong with how much he wanted Daisuke.

Daisuke stayed on the floor and stretched his hands up, up above his head. "Kya! Ken, this is seriously fun. I had no idea!" He was still smiling, looking up at the ceiling.

"I suspected."

Ken pushed back his hair, which had been hanging in his face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Daisuke closed his eyes, still smiling. "We gotta get out of here, but I don't want to move."

Impossible to disagree, on either count. Ken looked at Daisuke's spikes of hair, longing to run his fingers through, but if Daisuke was being like this he would need to be the responsible one, for Daisuke's sake. Besides, Ken was a little afraid of what he might dare to try, were he and Daisuke to lounge around for much longer. With a sigh, he pulled out his D-Terminal "It's 9:30."

Eyes still closed, Daisuke scrunched them tight. "Grraargh," This meant that he was thinking.

Ken's ideas were as follows: one, they could call home and inform a responsible adult of what had happened, making up some kind of excuse, and someone would be sent over to let them out. Two, they could walk around and search for a window with a latch, looking for one that was big enough to let them out and a place where they could get down safely. Three, they could use one of their D-3s to go into the Digital World, and from there walk to another monitor, and open a gate directly to his own home... his parents knew about the Digital World now, it wouldn't be that difficult to explain. Four and five, (which were not really options but included in Ken's mental inventory for completeness' sake), they could break a window, or leave through an emergency fire escape exit. The last options would get them in trouble and all of the previous options has merit, so there would be no need to try either of them unless faced with a series of unfortunate unexplained events.

Although Ken was more than willing to offer up these suggestions if asked, and at least somewhat willing to volunteer them even if not asked, he preferred to wait and see what Daisuke came up with.

He was not disappointed.

The extended lull broke with an explosion of action. Daisuke kicked his legs up high and then brought them down quickly, rocking his body and using the momentum as a lever to spring into a standing position without any intermediary steps. "Bingo!" Daisuke pointed up, as if pointing to the stars and everything awesome that could possibly exist in the overarching firmament. "I know how we're gonna get out of here!"

Ken looked up. "By rocket?"

"I wish! No!" Daisuke held out his hand to Ken, inviting him to take it. "To the gym!"

This was why.

. + .

Some of Ken's smarts must have transferred to Daisuke through the Jogress mindlink, Daisuke decided. Otherwise he just could not explain how he'd crafted such an amazing plan. As leader of the currently active set of Chosen Children (take that, Takeru), Daisuke was no slouch at coming up with winning, victorious strategies. But this was one of his best yet!

Daisuke was coiling up a climbing rope, one he'd borrowed from the equipment room in the gym. "So this is what will happen," Daisuke disclosed, waiting for Ken to nod (he did) to be sure that he was following. "Both the boys and girls locker rooms open directly out to the pool area, and they're never locked because the pool is fenced in. I guess it would be bad for someone to be swimming at night and end up locked out or something; the point is they're never locked." Ken nodded again. "The fence is one of those really high ones, but I have no doubts that we'll both totally be able to climb it, so that's easy enough. The problem is that we'll still be in the closed-off space behind the school, which is walled in. That's where the rope comes into play."

Daisuke held up Exhibit: Rope.

Ken nodded yet again, but this time there was a doubtful look in his eyes. "How are we going to get the rope to attach to the top of the wall without a grappling hook?"

"Aha!" This was where the plan became brilliant. "No need!"

Ken smiled. "Then how?"

"Well, you know, there's this power generator at the side of the school, and it would be super easy to get up onto that. From there, we go onto the roof of the school." So awesome. "The roof goes around the back of the school and there's a part that is near the wall, see? And there's a kind of chimney there, right?" Daisuke handed the rope to Ken, and he could not help but pose a little, because this was just so. Freaking. Cool. "We tie the rope around the chimney, and grapple down the wall from there!" He was grinning. This was the best night ever. First he became boyfriends with Ken, and now he was performing daring feats of adventure in the real world. "See?"

"Yes." The look in Ken's face was so gratifying. Ken obviously admired Daisuke's cleverness almost as much as he did. "That's really great, Daisuke."

So of course they went directly to the boys locker room (it was tempting to go through the girls locker room just to see, but Daisuke knew Ken would strenuously object so he didn't even bother to suggest it). Daisuke took a moment to show Ken his locker, which contained a set of smelly gym clothes that he probably should have taken home several days ago to get washed, but had forgotten. There was also a picture of Hikari taped to the inside of the locker, as well as some pics of Veemon (inspiration). Daisuke had forgotten about the Hikari picture so was a little embarrassed when Ken saw it, but Ken didn't say anything so it probably was okay.

As expected, the exterior door to the pool was unlocked. Outside the night air was a bit crisp, as befit both the time of day and the time of year. A silvery, shivering wind from the north blew the sky clean, and the pink night sky of Japan was improved by the fuzzy light of distant stars. "Welcome to our pool," Daisuke said gaily, glad that the first part of the plan had worked out (he had never been at the school this late before, so honestly wasn't _sure_ if the doors here would truly be unlocked).

Ken walked out into the pool area, taking a big deep breath as he held out his arms from his sides, turning a bit to look up at the darkish sky. Daisuke had noticed that Ken was someone who really liked to be outside, so it didn't surprise him that Ken kind of bloomed like that. Quietly content.

It was still springtime so the pool was not in active use, but the pool had already been opened in preparation for the coming warm months. Even though they should probably go straight to climbing the fence, Ken seemed happy just kind of wandering, so Daisuke took the opportunity to go over to the deep end. He put his hands on his hips and looked down, and then knelt by the edge of the pool in order to drop one finger in... brr! Pretty cold, still.

A shame, because it occurred to Daisuke that it would be really cool and fun to go swimming with Ken at night. All alone like this they could go skinny dipping. "Ken, let's go skinny dipping sometime!"

Ken stopped walking about, and stared directly at Daisuke. It was almost an intimidating stare because of how composed Ken was, but Daisuke knew that wasn't it. "...okay," Ken said.

"But not today though. It's too cold."

"Yes."

"We could go to the Digital World, maybe. Do you think that would be fun?"

"Yes."

Ken sounded a little faint.

And actually, thinking about it himself, Daisuke felt a bit dizzy with the idea. Skinny dipping meant being naked. Naked _together_. He'd get to see Ken's naked ass! And... Ken would probably want to put his hands on Daisuke's body, a thought which made Daisuke's mouth go dry. Daisuke stood up, walking over to the diving boards, scrambling up the high one and walking out to the end, where he sat down with his feet dangling over the edge. Now it was his turn to look up at the stars, because his body felt super warm and it was hard to keep looking at Ken while thinking such thoughts.

It made him want to call Ken "Ken-chan."

"What are you doing?" Ken called out, but Daisuke didn't know so he didn't answer, just looking over to Ken feeling somehow bashful.

He wasn't used to these kind of thoughts. He wasn't prepared for it. Obviously, this was exactly what being boyfriends meant, but... Daisuke had never even felt like this with Hikari!

Ken looked so small over there.

Boyfriends. His boyfriend. Daisuke felt a stab of something in his heart. It felt good, very good, but it was also uncomfortable. Trying to be reassuring, Daisuke waved and smiled, but Ken kept looking and it reminded him of so many times when Ken had been looking at him just like that in the past, like the first time Ken appeared with Stingmon. Ken loved him. And, knowing himself, Daisuke realized that it was possible Ken had loved him for a very long time and he'd just never noticed. That Ken been all alone in his love, setting it aside so that Daisuke wouldn't be inconvenienced. It was just too sad. Daisuke lay back on the board, legs still dangling. It was hard to look at Ken when he suddenly felt like he'd totally let him down.

"Some boyfriend I am," he muttered to himself, too quiet for Ken to hear.

He brooded for a bit, not really listening to Ken's quiet questions from so far away. "I'm fine," he called out, figuring that would cover all bases. He _was_ fine, Ken didn't need to worry about him, he just felt like such a jerk. He'd be okay in a minute, it wasn't like Daisuke was the sort to cling to regrets... although it kind of pissed him off too, that he wasn't. He wished he was a little less thoughtless.

But in his experience, wasn't it true that everything worked out eventually, no matter how he felt about it? "I'm fine," he whispered to the far-off shrouded stars. And like that, he felt better.

Sitting up, he turned to look at Ken and wave to him again, but Ken wasn't there anymore. Daisuke frowned.

"Daisuke?"

He almost fell off the board because Ken's voice was right behind him. Wow, that was practically creepy. How did Ken get up there so fast and so silently? Daisuke slowly turned his head, the way he would if he was afraid that a ghost was lurking, nervous. "Y-yes?"

Arms encircled him from behind. "I'm sorry," Ken whispered. "I got worried."

The water below reflected nearby school floodlights which were always on. Daisuke had a rush of vertigo, and laughed. This was too ridiculous, even for him. Ken made him feel so warm. "Don't. Don't be." It was Daisuke's job to worry about Ken, not the other way around. Obviously he'd fallen down on the job. "Ahaha hmm. You can keep doing that, though." Ken had started kissing the side of his neck. He had to try it out. "Ken-chan."

"Daisuke?" Ken whispered into his ear, apprehensively, unsure.

He felt nervous too, all of the sudden. "Can I call you that?" Was it okay? Had he said something wrong? He was so bad at love stuff.

"You can call me whatever you like." Ken rested his chin on Daisuke's shoulder, pressing his head hard against the side of Daisuke's face, still holding him close from behind.

Ah good. So that was settled. Everything would be fine; just like he thought.

"Let's always be boyfriends," Daisuke said. "Deal?"

"Deal."

It would be nice if Veemon and Wormmon were around to share in the moment. It felt like something they'd enjoy a lot. Daisuke clapped his hands together: once, twice. It was time to conquer the fence and then the wall and get to going home. "Let's go. Let me up."

Ken let go and slid back. "All right. Sounds good."

In retrospect, Daisuke would realize that he should have looked to see how Ken was situated before bouncing the diving board, rocking back while holding the edge so he could replicate his earlier standing maneuver. He was just going to get the board moving a little so he could do a combo vault-balance beam type thing. The plan was to use his arms to hold his body up, pulling his legs up under him and then springing to stand triumphantly. He had enough room, that was not the problem. He just hadn't expected that Ken would have been sitting with both legs dangling over one side a bit too precariously, and so he had no idea that his little move would rock Ken's balance... enough to get him laughing, bouncing... and completely unable to recover when Daisuke's foot slipped and he tumbled forward instead.

Oops.

Together they tumbled into the shining water below.


	13. Kaiser

+ kaiser +

Has a golden spider ever descended into sight, pale and small and spinning vigorously, to keep the thread to hold?

Has hope ever floated towards you, baffling in its industry, sublime in its fragile form?

At the place where the crickets sing in the shadows of late afternoon, the buzz of cicadas like electricity through a wire, the accumulating clouds of the coming autumn sluggishly stirring in yearning towards the east, I will turn to you. And when I do, there will be nothing but the wind to tell you: I am here.

. + .

There was no time to think. The water closed over his head before he even realized he was falling.

Ken opened his mouth, a reflexive action which was exactly the wrong one.

One moment he had been laughing with Daisuke, feeling happier than he had in a long time. As happy as he had been a long, long time ago, back when Osamu still lived.

The next moment, water filled his mouth, choking his breath, stinging his lungs. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.

_I want you._

So cold. He couldn't breathe. Ken clawed for the surface, shimmering lights backed by darkness. Without air it was difficult to rise. He struggled anyway, putting all of his strength into his arms, kicking with all of his might. He couldn't breathe. It was so cold. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't. Daisuke, help me, was his last conscious thought, before something knocked him in the head.

Consciousness dimmed.

_I want you to remember._

Ken's D-3 activated. He could only feel the edges of its workings, the way it responded to his desperation with a signal, a call.

_Remember._

. + .

"Ken."

As long as he could remember, Ken had held contempt for his mother. She was a weak woman far too easily susceptible to the opinions of others.

"Ken."

It was easy, extremely easy, to ignore her. Ken clicked buttons on his game controller, thumbs hovering over the button clusters as he mashed out precise sequences in rapid-fire succession.

"Ken!"

Yes. Another PKK. Sure, it was a simplistic game, with simple gameplay, but Ken very much enjoyed playing the Terror of Death.

"_Ken_. Pay attention." The screen flickered, and went blank. Ken growled; it was easy to ignore his mother, but not always easy to ignore the irritating, petty ways she interfered with his life.

He'd almost been done with that dungeon, too. His last save point had been ages ago. Ken looked up. "What do you want."

Without ceremony, his mother held out a piece of paper. Ken took it; it was a note written on the formal letterhead of Odaiba Elementary. His school. He read the brief note, and then handed it back.

"Can you explain this?"

The contents of the note had been very straightforward. He was being banished from yet another club. This time it was the judo club, citing "merciless aggression" and "unbecoming selfishness." Last week it had been the chess club, and a few weeks before that, the computer club. As usual, no one wanted him, despite the fact that he was unnaturally skilled and preternaturally gifted. "No," Ken said curtly, looking his mother in the eyes and holding her gaze until she gave up and looked away. He was used to it, but that didn't mean he could explain it, or wanted to.

In fact, at this point he wasn't even sure why he bothered. Everything he ever did was easily eclipsed by his brother's accomplishments. Everyone loved Osamu, and Ken was always an afterthought, even to his parents. The only time they paid him any attention at all was when he was creating headaches for them, acting provocatively and in ways which forced them to deal with him.

Perhaps that was why.

"I thought you _liked_ judo. You're not even trying to fit in, and the only one who suffers because of it is you."

Ken did like judo. He liked everything that he was good at. He just didn't like other people.

His mother proceeded to lecture him, scolding him roundly, but Ken tuned her out. She always said exactly the same things. It was boring. Insects were more interesting than his mother was.

He only started listening again when he heard the word "Osamu." This was an inevitability; Osamu always came up when Ken's faults were being enumerated. "Why don't you let Osamu help you?" was what his mother was saying, and Ken had to work hard to bite his tongue.

Ken stood. "I'm leaving," he announced coldly, not waiting for an answer as he pushed past her. He walked out of the living room and into his shared room with Osamu. Along the way he passed through a hallway filled with pictures of his brother. A snapshot of Osamu in that bubblegum commercial. Osamu looking adorable as he held up his first Intramural Soccer Tournament Championship badge (he was seven). Osamu surrounded by flocks of mindless fangirls, at some event Ken couldn't be bothered to recall the point of. There was only one picture which included Ken, and Ken studiously avoided looking at it.

It was a picture of Ken and Osamu together, back when they were much younger. In the picture, Ken was blowing bubbles and Osamu was helping him. Ken didn't need to look at it; he knew the picture by heart.

Why didn't he let Osamu help him? Because Osamu was the one person, the only person, who was worth anything in this dismal world.

The bedroom was Ken's sanctuary. It was clean, almost sterile, according to the preference of both brothers, and rather Spartan all around. Here the walls were bare, with nothing hanging or taped up. Everything had been recently dusted, the sheets and even the curtains washed, but that was his mother's doing so Ken didn't really take any note of it.

Osamu wasn't there, of course. He rarely was.

Ken was of two minds regarding his brother's relationship with the world. On the one hand, he quite concurred with the overall general opinion that Osamu was a rare genius, so much more of a genius than he himself, and therefore he looked upon the attention afforded his brother as nothing less than his due. In fact he would have found it insulting if the world _didn't_ stand up and take note, so he appreciated the fact that Osamu's brilliance was recognized. But-- on the other hand-- Ken just couldn't respect the brainless adoring masses who loved his brother, and Ken kind of wished that Osamu didn't have such a strong sense of responsibility because he ended up pandering to them instead of scorning them, as Ken did. Surely Osamu hated the attention too, deep in his heart, but Osamu took his duties as a first born son seriously, and lived up to the role the world had given him with barely a murmur of protest.

Regardless of whether it was a good thing or a bad one, Ken found it entirely aggravating

Over in the corner was Ken's bookbag, containing all of his homework assignments and textbooks. He only did homework when he felt like it, which wasn't often. It was this contemptuous lack of ambition that kept Ken from being accepted into prestigious schools, such as his brother's Tamachi, but Ken always did just enough to pass, just enough to keep from being held back. Sometimes Ken wasn't sure why he did even that much-- it was insulting how dreary and basic elementary school was, and he had long ago decided that there wasn't anything he could learn in school that he couldn't more efficiently and thoroughly teach himself.

Ken sat down on the floor and started pulling all of the items out of his bag, sorting through everything and putting it all into different piles. Papers here, pens and pencils together here. Food wrappers and stray receipts were crumpled up and dispatched directly to the trash. Money went in its own pile, coins and stray ¥1000 and ¥2000 notes neatly arranged.

After a moment, he got up to get his MP3 player, putting the earbuds in and then setting it to "shuffle" before sitting down again to go back to his sorting.

There was always a way to shut out the world.

. + .

The next day found Ken in detention. Or rather, he found himself there, having been sent by an irate teacher who hadn't liked his attitude.

As usual, he showed up late. It wasn't that he was making any special effort to be late, but of course he also wasn't making any effort to be on time, either. And just about immediately Ken found himself suppressing a disgusted snarl; there was another boy there (not unusual, most of the time he was sharing detention with at least one other miscreant), and that boy happened to have taken his preferred seat.

It wasn't even the best spot in the room, so the fact that it was taken was even more galling. Ken liked it because it was near the window, one row removed and near the middle towards the back... a good spot, one he'd developed an affinity for. One that someone else was unlikely to take unless they specifically wanted to piss him off.

The boy who was sitting there, Motomiya Daisuke, was someone Ken had seen in detention before.

It absolutely had to be intentional.

"Take your seat," said the teacher at the front of the room, not at all fazed when Ken shifted his glare from the seat-stealing interloper towards him instead. That teacher was one who monitored detention fairly frequently, so he too had to know the vast offense, but all he did was give Ken a bland, nonspecific little smile.

_His_ seat, indeed. Someone would be made to pay for this: both the boy and the teacher, most likely, since Ken was feeling equally irritated at both. He just didn't know how, yet. Calling up a brittle, scornful little smile of his own, Ken stepped briskly over to where the Motomiya boy was, taking the seat directly in front of him so that he could spend the entire detention pretending he didn't notice that he existed.

Normally Ken didn't mind detention. He didn't love it; that would be ridiculous. But it was quiet and it usually gave him the opportunity to think without distractions. He liked to lose himself in nothingness, staring out the nearby windows at the sunlit trees outside, examining them in minute detail and pretending he was free. Free not only of detention, but of school and home and family. Of everything.

Today he was distracted. Very.

The teacher left pretty early on after giving a brief and tedious lecture about personal responsibility, going to his office across the hall. Close enough to hear if Ken and the Motomiya boy started talking loudly... he'd left both doors open, after all... but far enough away to ignore any smaller infractions. Ken had noticed that no teacher enjoyed detention duty and that they all slacked in their responsibilities, a fact which suited him just fine. It was just typical that adults demanded of children a level of self control they couldn't be bothered to muster themselves. So hypocritical.

As soon as the teacher had left, Ken put his head down on the desk, fully intending to nap. The smooth pressed wood desktop felt cool against his cheek, and he closed his eyes.

Within minutes Ken started noticing a gnat-like sensation on his hair, and he lifted his hand to rub at the back of his head. What?

Something cold and wet plinked off the back of his hand. Ken sat up, and then looked down at the floor. There were a few little pilled up rolls of paper scattered at his feet.

Ken turned to face his tormenter. "Stop."

"You don't like it?" The Motomiya boy grinned provocatively.

He really had some nerve. "No," Ken said, summoning his most threatening malevolence. "Stop." That was his second warning. "Or else."

"Or else what, you'll bite me?" Motomiya rolled his eyes, and then returned to grinning at him like an idiot. "Here." The boy then held out a sheet of paper. "Why don't you get me back instead?"

"You're providing me with ammunition?"

"Sure, why not?" The boy shrugged. He then proceeded to tear off a corner of paper from a sheet on the desk in front of him, one already blitzed from previous raids. This boy, this Motomiya, then proceeded to _insolently_ pop the paper in his mouth and start chewing. With his mouth open, no less. "Better hurry, I'm building up a truly amazing amount of spit here."

What an _insect_. An absolute maggot. Ken looked down at the paper he had been given, and then started to tear up strips in rapid succession. While getting his arsenal prepared, another slimy spitball landed on his cheek. Ken narrowed his eyes, and started tearing a bit faster.

"Come on, Ichijouji. Hurry up." So the boy knew who he was.

Ken's hands shook a bit in rage, but all he did in reply was pop one of his prepared strips in his mouth. Making spitballs was so juvenile and disgusting, but he would not be bested.

A wet little ball smacked into his sweater, and stuck there.

Undeterred, Ken continued building up his stockpile. The other boy wasn't doing anything other than getting off one at a time, and he wasn't even going that fast. "You do not comprehend the degree of vengeance you're in for," Ken announced with gritted teeth.

"Me? Baron von Awesome? Bring it on."

Ken paused, looked up. "What?" He hadn't seriously called himself "Baron von _Awesome_," had he?

A spitball hit him square on the nose. "Baron. Von. Awesome."

He had. "You are so going down."

. + .

These weren't memories.

_Remember._

. + .

Somehow, Ken wasn't really sure how, he and Motomiya had become friends.

Maybe it was something about being worthy adversaries. After that first spitball fight Ken discovered that Motomiya had no intention of leaving him alone, ever. Not even after Ken had pulled a few significantly nasty little pranks on him, ones which quickly made Motomiya into the laughing stock of the whole school. His reputation had been completely shot, and Motomiya just did not care. And strangely, neither did almost anyone else; despite shouldering the blame for spreading false rumors (which had really originated with Ken), or being thought of as a perverted creeper for having been found with used girl's panties in his locker, the sun never quite set on Motomiya's acceptance in the school. It wasn't like the boy was popular... far from it... but it just seemed that everyone looked at him in bemusement, instead of suspecting him of malice.

Initially it had been frustrating. Everyone, _everyone_ thought Ken was malicious, despite the fact that no one could pin any crimes on him other than perpetual insolence. Not that Ken cared what people thought, but it grated that Motomiya got off scot-free, whereas he himself was always under that damn cloud. But eventually he and Motomiya had come to an understanding, and then a truce, and before he knew it Ken found himself actually hanging out with the boy from time to time.

He found it not disagreeable.

"Ken! I'm glad you're home. Here, take this."

Arriving home one day after an afternoon spent creaming Daisuke at soccer, Ken was greeted by his harried mother pressing a tray of food into his hands. He looked down; roasted rice cakes, some kind of dashi stew with oysters, tea, a tofu and tomato salad, shortcake dessert. It looked good. It smelled good. Usually Ken didn't eat much, but today he was rather hungry, and so he looked up at his mother with surprised gratitude. Before he could offer up some kind of grudging thanks, however, his mother divulged her true intent.

"Be a dear and take that to your brother, okay?" Ken's mother smiled tiredly. "I'll have a plate for you ready in a few minutes, but your brother is here and..."

... and she was not above sucking up to him. Of course.

Fortunately, for her, Ken never minded doing favors for his brother.

After giving her a hard stare and holding it until she wilted, Ken turned around without saying anything and walked down the hall.

_Mama_ never made food this good unless Osamu were around.

Carefully balancing the tray on one arm, Ken opened the door to the room he shared with his brother. Today was turning out to be unexpectedly positive, and Ken even smiled a little to himself as he immediately looked to his brother. Osamu was seated at his personal computer, typing into some kind of document file, with his back to the door. Ken approached quietly.

Not too quietly, though. Osamu reached for his mouse and made a few clicks, closing the document he was working on, and then swiveled around in his chair to face Ken. Ken liked the way Osamu did that; there was no sense that Osamu was surprised, none that he was frantically hiding anything. It had all been very measured, as if he were saying "I don't care what you see but I'm not showing it to you because it is none of your business and there are principles to be upheld." Osamu smiled up at him.

"I've got your dinner." Ken held out the tray.

"Thank you," Osamu said, setting the tray down on his lap and starting to dig in. "So... mmf.. Ken-chan. Where were you today?"

Where...? Ken looked away, and then to cover his confusion he went to go sit down on the edge of his bed. For some reason his face felt warm. "Out," he said finally.

Osamu raised an eyebrow at that, and after a pause of his own started to laugh. It was a kind laugh. "You're hilarious." Osamu took a sip of his tea, and then continued. "Out why? You never go out on Sundays."

Untrue. Unfair. Well, not entirely untrue. And maybe not totally unfair. "Why do you care?" Even though the question was brusque, Ken's way of asking it wasn't. Realizing that his non-answering could be misconstrued as avoidance, Ken hastily added, "I was out with a friend."

"I see."

Osamu shrugged, and then went back to eating, his mouth twitched into the tiniest of grins.

Ken was torn. On the one hand he was enormously annoyed at Osamu for both putting him on the spot and refusing to answer his question. On the other hand, it was Osamu.

Before Ken could say anything more, there was a knock at the door, and immediately after his mother came into the room, wheeling in Ken's dinner on a serving cart. She said something to him, some nonsense, and Ken just waved a hand at her dismissively and after a moment of looking at him woefully she started talking to Osamu instead, exchanging some meaningless pleasantries and finally leaving after she ran out of congratulatory small talk.

Picking up where he'd left off before they were interrupted, Ken considered his options. He could elect to remain annoyed, which was his default state of being. But, as he had to remind himself, this was Osamu he was thinking about. Osamu never asked him questions for no reason, and if he was reluctant to answer Ken's question there was probably a reason for that too. Which made him think that perhaps he should just drop it and let it go. But Osamu wasn't like Ken... curiosity never annoyed him. So, Ken swallowed something. His pride maybe. "Why did you ask?" he said, rephrasing his question a bit more politely. "Where I was, I mean."

"Oh, I thought we might hang out, that's all." Osamu said this matter-of-factly, without any hint of regret. "I know I'm busy most of the time."

He wasn't apologizing. Ken was fiercely glad of this fact, glad that Osamu did not feel the need to apologize for his life. Nor was he accusing Ken of anything. Ken knew that Osamu did not and would not blame him for living his life however he chose, and certainly would not and did not blame him for not being around when Osamu just so happened to want him.

That just made it all the more terrible. Ken looked down, and the guilt that Osamu refused to levy redounded on him cruelly.

"I'm sorry." He was very sorry.

Osamu was back to eating his food, slurping at the oyster stew. "I'm not sure why."

"Because..." Ken paused, at a loss. Because Ken would have stood up Daisuke in a heartbeat if only he'd known. This was the truth, but it wasn't anything he wanted to put into words, because it made him sound so pathetic. "I'm sorry," he said again, voice small.

"Didn't you have fun with your friend?"

...Yes. That was beside the point. "I can see him anytime."

This just caused Osamu to shake his head. He then took another sip of tea. "I didn't know you had any friends. That's a good thing, isn't it?" Setting down his tea, he picked up his chopsticks and pointed them at Ken. "In fact, I want to meet him."

"Oh?" If Ken had felt warm before, he felt himself flash absolutely burning now. The idea was mortifying but it also made him extremely happy. Daisuke was... not unworthy... as friends went. But he certainly wasn't anywhere in Osamu's league, and it petrified him to consider such a meeting ending with Osamu being disappointed in him for choosing such a ridiculous friend. But Daisuke was fun, too, and probably would make Osamu laugh, and that could be a really good thing. "Uh, okay."

"Let's say, next weekend?" Osamu took his first bite of dessert.

. + .

The next day after school, Ken found Daisuke hanging out in the cafeteria with a group of his friends. There was a small handful of them, including a serious-faced younger child who couldn't have been more than nine, and they were all drinking juice boxes and appeared to be in the middle of some kind of strategy session, with a large map laid out on the table they shared. Ken didn't care to get to know any of Daisuke's friends, so he came up to Daisuke and grabbed him by the shoulder from behind, a firm but not rough gesture meant to net his friend's attention.

"Aaah… ahh, Ken! Hi!"

One of Daisuke's friends, the friend with the hat, hastily started folding up the map, and it was everything Ken could do to keep from rolling his eyes. Like he cared about whatever lame MMORPG Daisuke and his friends were into—he could tell as much from his brief glance that the map wasn't of anyplace real.

Daisuke was craning his neck back as far as it could go, looking directly up at Ken with a frantic expression and a slight flush. Ken smiled right down back at him, and kept his hand on his friend's shoulder, pressing down a little. He knew he was being a bit intrusive and disconcerting, but why should he care. "Are you busy this Saturday?" he asked, as pleasantly as he could. Daisuke couldn't really refuse this, Ken wouldn't allow it, but he'd at least make a stab of following the formalities.

Annoyingly, Daisuke looked to his other friends before answering. The girl who always carried a camera around nodded, and after a moment so did the other girl and the boy with the hat. "Yeah, no problem." Daisuke looked back up at him as he answered, this time with a pleased (relieved?) smile. "You wanna hang out?"

"Something like that," Ken said, taking his hand off Daisuke's shoulder. "My brother said I could invite you to the movies with us."

One of the girls, the one with glasses Ken supposed, squealed. "Lucky!"

Ah, yes. One of Osamu's brainless fangirls. He should have suspected. Ken stood up a bit straighter. Before he could say anything, though, Daisuke interceded (if that were the right word) with a confused "huh? Lucky?"

The girl gave Daisuke an incredulous look. "Stupid, don't you know anything? Ichijouji's brother is none other than the famous genius. Ichijouji Osamu." Glasses-girl grinned at Ken, not apparently noticing or caring that Ken was glaring right back at her. "Right?"

"I suppose," Ken said.

"Miyako!" said the other girl, eyed widened in shock at her friend's rudeness.

"I'm just saying! Everyone knows, except for stupid Daisuke of course. He needs to know what kind of a privilege it is so that he doesn't make any dumb mistakes!" The girl, Miyako, nodded eagerly at Ken, as if to say, "See? I'm helpful, right?"

Ken ignored her. It was true that Daisuke needed to know to be on his best behavior, whatever that was. But how was it this girl's place to tell him? Normally Ken would react a lot more caustically to such flagrantly obnoxious behavior, but in this case he was inclined to let it go, if for no other reason than the fact that he found it surprisingly pleasant to realize that Daisuke truly didn't know who his brother was. The few times in the past when children had gone out of their way to befriend Ken had turned out to be because said children wanted an in with his famous brother. Ken had long suspected that Daisuke wasn't like that, but having it confirmed was… good. Very good.

As if to underline the point, Daisuke just made a face at the girl, sticking out his tongue.

"Be at my apartment at noon," Ken said, holding out a piece of paper containing pre-prepared directions. "Here."

"Sure thing," Daisuke said, snatching up the piece of paper and pocketing it.

"Don't forget."

"I won't, I won't! But you'll remind me, right?"

"… yes." Ken covered his mouth with a fist, surprised to find himself wanting to laugh.

Daisuke _was_ stupid. But he was also charming.

Osamu would have to see it.

. + .

These were not memories. At least, not his.

How could they be?

_Remember._

. + .

"So, Ken. You're my best friend, right?"

"Of course."

Several weeks had passed since Daisuke had been introduced to Osamu. The meeting had gone extremely well, exceeding even Ken's hopeful expectations. Osamu had been curious about Daisuke, honestly curious, asking all sorts of questions about his life. The cheerful, artless way that Daisuke answered everything sealed Ken's affections (such as they were).

But now it was clear that Daisuke was going to finally confess the one secret he'd managed to hold back.

Ken had quickly figured out that Daisuke and his friends were engaged in some poorly concealed enterprise, and it had been entertaining to observe Daisuke squirm in discomfort as he pretended that no such conspiracy existed. As they'd become closer, it had even become something of a game, because what did Ken care about the sorts of diversions Daisuke got up to when he wasn't around? The innocent egoism in such transparent subterfuges was most amusing. Ken figured out long before Daisuke had that the secret was going to come out, simply because it was obvious that Daisuke was finding it harder and harder to hide anything from him.

He was about to be proven right.

Today they were both hanging out at Daisuke's apartment, avoiding his boy crazed sister by sequestering themselves in his tragically messed up room. Daisuke was fidgeting. "I... haven't been totally honest with you," he continued after a brief pause, eyeing Ken cautiously as if concerned that Ken would bolt from sheer surprise or disgust.

This was going to be so good. "You don't say," Ken answered gravely.

"It's shocking. You'll be shocked."

"Try me."

"You have to promise not to tell anyone. I'm really not supposed to say, but I don't care because I know I can totally trust you. Do you promise?"

Ken nodded. Promises were cheap.

"I.... we, me and Hikari and T.B. and everyone... we can all go to another dimension."

Of course. Ken smiled. "Really?" The big MMORPG secret was about to be revealed. Daisuke was probably going to invite him into their special raiding party or something in a minute.

"Yeah, really." Daisuke was giving Ken a very suspicious glare. "You don't believe me!"

This would require some finesse. Ken schooled his features. "It's a pretty audacious claim," Ken said, gently. "But no, I believe you."

Daisuke looked at him skeptically for another few moments, but soon broken into a relieved grin. Apparently he'd decided Ken was on the up and up. "Okay, Chibimon, you can come out!"

Because he'd been preparing for a rather more mundane reveal, Ken couldn't help but be jolted when a tiny, impossible blue... thing... bounced from apparently nowhere to spring laughingly into Daisuke's lap.

Ken was rarely wrong. About anything. Despite himself, he felt his jaw dropping in wonder.

What _was_ that thing?

"Hi! I'm Chibimon!" The little creature extended a stubby paw. "I am Daisuke's Digimon partner and I love all kinds of candy. Nice to meet you!"

"Uh." Ken blinked. He hesitated, then held out his hand (switching it to just one finger once he realized how tiny the thing's paws really were). "Um. Likewise."

And right at this moment Daisuke was giving Ken the biggest, proudest grin he had ever seen. "Together Chibimon and I are defenders of the Digital World. You know, the _other dimension_. Do you want to see it?"

Did he?

It wouldn't be some online role playing game after all. This was something... real.

Ken wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with anything real.

It was strange. Ken rubbed the back of his neck absently.

And yet, he found himself nodding.

"Great! Let's go! You totally won't regret it!"

His neck hurt.

. + .

_Do you remember?_

This was a reality Ken had wished for.

_I will come for you._

This was Ken's secret desire.

_I want you._

This was Ken's secret guilt.

_Remember._

. + .

Once upon a time, Ichijouji Ken had been all alone. Once upon a time, Ichijouji Ken had stood before the grave of his dead brother, and cried.

Osamu was dead, and it had been all his own fault.

If only Osamu were alive, Ichijouji Ken thought to himself, standing apart from his parents and the crowd of sorrowful admirers who had all loved his brother. If he were still alive he would never try to use that device ever again, Ichijouji Ken vowed, knowing full well deep in his heart of hearts that the device was his and not his brother's.

Later, long after Ichijouji Ken had shed his unwanted name to become instead the Digimon Kaizer, ruler of the Digital World, the boy found himself still alone. The dark ocean called to him and he was frightened. Ichijouji Ken had second thoughts.

If only Osamu had been the one to become the Kaiser, he thought.

Osamu should have been the Kaiser. And Ichijouji Ken should have been free.

. + .

Ken shuddered. He knew what was coming, now.

He was drowning. He knew this, now.

The voice speaking to him, the false memories, his cruel innocence: Ken no longer could distance himself. Daisuke, save me, he thought as the other Ken stepped into the Digital World for the first time.

He remembered.


	14. Not For You

+ not for you +

No one was answering.

Daisuke paced, staring worriedly at Ken, who was now lying at the side of the pool.

At least now he was breathing. He looked like he was breathing, anyway. It was hard to say.

What should he do? He needed to get help. He needed to talk to Tai. He needed everyone, right now.

Daisuke looked at his D-Terminal. Still nothing. But to go and find even a phone would mean leaving Ken, and he just couldn't do that. Daisuke wrung his hands, was shaking. This was just awful. If Ken....

He couldn't die. He just couldn't.

From the moment he hit the water Daisuke knew something was wrong. Instinctively he held his breath as he dropped, and then there was the expected shock of cold (a feeling that could never be properly anticipated no matter how often he'd jumped into cold water in his lifetime).

Amongst Daisuke's many talents was his skill as a champion swimmer. Well, he was a champion in his own mind anyway. One of Daisuke's lifetime goals was to participate in triathlons, and he could already do the one-point-five kilometers used during the Olympics course. He wasn't very fast yet, but he could do it. Just like a fish.

And so, just like a fish, he followed his training. The first step was to get to the surface, to get air. He resurfaced with a gasp, and then looked around. No Ken. He looked down. Ken was still underwater. First step then was helping him up, so Daisuke didn't wait even a moment to take a deep breath and dive, not even taking the time to kick off his shoes. Ken was panicking and his mouth was open; he'd drown if he didn't get up fast, and so Daisuke went to grab for him. But Ken fought back and in the struggle the back of his head hit the side of the pool... they'd not fallen far enough from the edge.

Ken went limp. And that made things easier, but in a totally dangerous way. Daisuke got his arm around Ken and pulled him up. Holding on to the edge of the pool he tried to lift Ken up out of the water, but it was hard. He looked around, but the shallow end was far, and if he tried to swim Ken over that way the time it would take would just be too long. So he tried again, using all his strength and both hands to lift Ken and kind of toss him face first onto the cement. Ken was only halfway out, but it was enough... Daisuke kept one arm on Ken's back, steadying him to keep him from slipping back into the water, and then grappled himself up out over the side. Oof.

The thing about Daisuke was that he didn't panic. Some would say he was too stupid to panic, but anyone who would say something like that didn't really know him.

So he dragged Ken all the way up onto the side of the pool. He just assumed that Ken had water in his lungs so he got behind him and propped him up, hugging him from behind and squeezing until water came out, a cupful or so that just kind of fell out of his mouth. He didn't cough, which wasn't good, but Daisuke put him down anyway and looked to see if he was breathing. Somehow, miraculously, he was, but it was wet breathing, labored and harsh.

That's when Daisuke noticed the beeping.

It was Ken's D-3. Daisuke was set to ignoring it, because it didn't seem important, when he noticed a flicker. And then another.

Ken was shifting in and out of phase.

"What the..." Daisuke whispered, appalled.

He reached out to touch Ken, and there was a mild shock, like the kind one gets when touching an electric socket the wrong way... something more than an electrostatic discharge, but something a lot less than out-and-out electrocution. Daisuke could feel Ken, he somehow still had substance, but with the flickering he couldn't do more than touch him. He couldn't move him; he tried to roll Ken over onto his side and it just didn't work, Ken wouldn't budge. And he couldn't get into Ken's pockets, even though he tried, digging for the beeping D-3 or at the very least Ken's D-Terminal. The beeping was becoming maddening; Daisuke had a thought that maybe if he separated Ken from the devices that maybe it, and all this, would stop.

That might still work. Except he couldn't even touch them.

He could barely even touch Ken.

_What are you going to do now, Daisuke?_

Daisuke stopped pacing, stood, stared down at Ken. He was thinking hard. Very hard.

_What will you do?_

. + .

Turning, turning, Ken laughed, his arms stretched out to his sides as he looked up at a sky that was not his own.

This was the Digital World. That was what Daisuke called it, and somehow it felt like home.

"Where are we?" he asked, still laughing. "Where are we, Daisuke?"

"We are on Server. It's one of the continents here."

"There are continents?" Whole continents? "How big is this world, anyway?"

"At least as big as Earth. Probably bigger." Daisuke was laughing too. It was obvious he was enjoying this. "Hey, Ken, look at Chibimon!"

Reluctantly, Ken stopped looking at the sky, turning towards Daisuke. Immediately he was surprised. Chibimon was nowhere to be seen, but in his place there was a bigger blue monster on the ground, and Daisuke was pointing at him. Ken pointed too, unsure. "That's him?"

"Yes, but I'm Veemon now!" the monster said, cutting in with a proud fistbump to the chest. "Wait 'til you see me as ExVeemon though, I'm way more awesome then."

Ken frowned. "How did you do that?"

"I evolved!"

Hmm. Not really an adequate explanation, but typical. Very typical. If someone asked Ken how he breathed he could give a complete answer, but Ken was unusual in that respect. Ask Daisuke, and the answer most certainly would turn out to be, "I don't know, I just do!" Ask Daisuke's blue monster and it would probably be the same. So Ken did not press the point, but filed the question away for later.

He knew that he would end up having many, many questions. And he knew that he wouldn't be satisfied until he had an answer to each one of them.

"Daisuke, this place is amazing," Ken said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, I know! I can't even believe it, I feel so lucky to have been chosen to be one of the Digidestined."

"... Digidestined?"

"Well, that's not the official term for it. Officially we're all just Chosen Children. But I like that term better since it just sounds so much more cool. I came up with it myself, you know."

Oh, clearly. "How did you end up, as you say, 'chosen?'"

Daisuke shrugged, grinned. "Beats me!"

Ken suppressed an urge to twist his lips into a bitter smile. That hardly seemed fair. If selection had been based on merit Ken knew he would have been chosen long before Daisuke. This was just obvious. So clearly the selection process was biased and probably arbitrary, and Ken wondered what he would have to do to change that.

What was this place? A world for children and monsters? A world to which no hypocritical adults could ever find their way?

He wanted it. He wanted it for his own.

Ken's skin began to itch.

"So where are we going to go, Daisuke?" Ken asked, after he composed himself, wrapping his arms around his chest and calming the crawling sensation by the force of his will. Mind over matter: he could do it. For a moment he felt hot, as if with a rash, but then his senses soothed. Ken adopted a placid expression, one which he knew his friend would find reassuring.

Daisuke rubbed the back of his head, and laughed a bit nervously. "Nowhere, really. We can't really stay long, or we'll get found out and I'll be in big trouble..."

"Trouble from whom?" Who had the right to tell Daisuke what to do, or not to do? It didn't seem right.

No wait; it didn't seem right that it wasn't _him_. For a moment Ken felt confused: which was it?

Ken didn't like the idea that his access to this world would be restricted simply because there was some arbitrary power structure here. That would make it a lot like the real world, and of what use was that?

"One of the other Chosen Children. He's kind of our leader, although he's all mysterious and stuff."

"Mysterious?"

"Yeah. No one knows who he is. I know most of the other Digidestined, but not him. But he leads us, telling us what to do and where to go, so we can protect this place. He would not like that I brought a friend here, and would probably yell at me if he found out." Daisuke grinned. "Obviously I'm not scared of him, or I wouldn't have brought you at all. But it's better if we don't stay long. He logs in at the most random of times and seems to have eyes everywhere, so..." Daisuke let that trail off.

If Daisuke got into trouble, how was that his problem? Was it his problem? It was bewildering, and Ken tried to decide which question he wanted to ask more. He touched the side of his face, trying to be casual as he suppressed a tooth chattering urge, feeling his skin prick into goose bumps. It was strange: Ken could explain the mechanism behind each of these autonomic reactions, but that didn't help him in deciding why they were happening, at all. He felt kind of sick, actually.

"You brought me here," Ken said finally, unsteadily. "It's not fair to show me something like this and then tell me 'nevermind.'"

Ken didn't want to leave until he understood a little more.

"Uh..." Daisuke became glum, but he also nodded, shrugging. "I guess that I should have expected that, right?"

"Yes."

"Is that okay, Daisuke?" The blue monster piped in, looking up at Daisuke with concern.

Daisuke appeared to consider that, and then put his hands on his knees, leaning down and smiling. "Don't worry. I'm always getting in trouble, this will be like old times." He paused, and then his smile grew even bigger, somehow. "So, Primary Village?"

"That would be great! Yes!" The monster was in complete agreement, all concern vanishing with Daisuke's reassurance. The thing, Chibimon with a new name (Veemon, was it?), made its clawed hand into a fist and shook it in the air.

The name "Primary Village" meant nothing to Ken. But it appeared that Daisuke would not insist that they leave, and Daisuke didn't seem to be overly concerned about whatever his so-called leader might do to him. Still...

"What kind of trouble do you expect for bringing a stranger?" Ken asked this as casually as he could.

"Hmm. I never really thought about it."

Daisuke started walking. "Besides, you're no stranger," he added, as if the thought just occurred to him. They were in the middle of some kind of glade, or meadow. It appeared to be autumn here, the trees with either golden leaves or boughed down, laden with ripe fruits of types that Ken could not identify. Back at home it was winter and brutally cold; this alone was a contrast worth enjoying this world for. Ken began to follow, looking back at the port through which they'd entered the world. From this side it looked like a television set.

The itch and chills began to fade, and Ken started to relax. He'd been wondering if he should be afraid, whether this world which interested him so much would reject him before he could get the chance to learn it. But now he was feeling like his normal self again, and so after the one glance Ken did not look back.

. + .

There was precident for this, Daisuke realized.

The inability to use his D-3 or D-Terminal... that had happened back when Hikari had been taken to that Dark Ocean place, back when Ken was still the Kaiser. And although he'd not seen it himself, Takeru had said that Hikari kind of "flickered" and then disappeared.

And Ken himself was known to have issues with that Dark Ocean. Daisuke knew Ken's personal lore pretty well by now; he knew about how Ken had gone there as a kid, how he'd used the water of the ocean to transform his Digivice into a D-3. And Ken went there again with Hikari that one time, and Miyako was dragged along with them... Miyako had even said that she was able to see the Ocean herself after a while, and she said that she had walked through Daisuke and Daisuke hadn't even known it! And of course there was that time with Daemon.

Daisuke was not stupid. People said he was, but he wasn't.

It was just, this didn't make any sense! Ken had cut off his association with the Darkness. Daisuke had informed him so himself, and had felt it as Ken's fears had evaporated and he was able to open that Dark Gate one more time, back there in Hikarigaoka. Ken wasn't unhappy or anything; even if he had been, hadn't tonight just fixed everything? Ken said he loved him! Daisuke loved him too! There should be no issues.

Unless. Daisuke could not discount the idea that something was calling to Ken, the way things were always calling to Hikari. That was still in the realm of the possible.

But who? But why?

And setting all that aside, what could he possibly do about it?

"Don't give up," Daisuke muttered to himself. "You can't!"

After all, the only one who could save Ken right now was himself. If he went away to get the others, and waited for them to come, it would be too late. He knew this instinctively.

He was alone.

Without a world to protect, only a friend to save. He'd done it before.

Could he do it again?

What was it Hikari had said? "There's always a way." Takeru had been able to get to Hikari, after all. "So long as there was someone who wanted me..." Takeru had wanted Hikari. There was no way Takeru could beat Daisuke at wanting someone. Not with Hikari, and _definitely_ not with Ken. Daisuke closed his eyes and strained as hard as he could, wanting, holding his breath. This had to work...

Except when he opened his eyes once more, he was in the exact same place. Nothing had changed at all. The only waves he saw were the tiny ripples in the water of the pool; depressingly ordinary, not evil at all.

There had to be something more. Maybe he needed Veemon. In which case, he was screwed. Daisuke decided that he didn't need Veemon.

Hikari had said something more. What was it?

"...and as long as I wanted to come back."

Didn't... didn't Ken want to return?

. + .

"Well, uh... wow."

Wherever Ken had been expecting Daisuke to take him, he hadn't envisioned ridiculousness. Primary Village turned out to be a place where Digimon were born, and apparently that meant giant toys and Easter eggs scattered around everywhere and little baby Digimon just lounging around in little crèches offering impertinent (albeit admittedly cute) commentary to their visitors.

But Ken couldn't help but acknowledge that it was a good place to start. Perhaps he could seduce one of these little Digimon into being his partner and giving him a Digivice of his own. Daisuke had said that the access keys came hand-in-hand with a Digital partner, so obviously Ken needed one if he was going to be anything other than a petitioner in this world.

Daisuke was already rounding up a group of tiny little monsters for a scrimmage match.

It was like picking out a plush toy. Ken felt supremely stupid walking around, waving hesitantly to the various creatures, most of whom seemed intent on chattering at him incessantly. His interest was drawn by one who seemed shyer than the others, a yellow thing curled up in a defiant ball with its tail about its body like that of a kitten napping. Ken knelt down next to it, and he smiled when he detected an arrogant, dismissive little sniff coming from the allegedly sleeping creature. This was his kind of partner.

"Hi," he said quietly, gently.

"Hey Ken, are you having fun?" Daisuke called out. Ken looked up; Daisuke had set up a few of the crèches as makeshift goalposts and field markers, and was using some kind of blow-up plastic toy in lieu of an actual soccer ball. The toy was at least three times bigger than the monsters who were trying to headbutt it into submission, and Daisuke was kneeling by the sidelines in his role as acting coach. His Veemon was right next to him, and both were smiling and waving at him. Ken waved back, nodding.

It _was_ kind of fun. The yellow creature had started to stir once it realized it was being ignored, and peeked up at Ken suspiciously. Ken knelt down, sitting seiza at a respectful distance to communicate his friendly intentions.

Seduction was such a specific art, and although Ken was not anything like an avid practitioner, he was quite familiar with the techniques. He was patient, and quiet, and slowly the creature confessed its reciprocating interest by uncurling itself and poking its head up, now quite openly peering at the human who refused to say anything more than hello. Eventually it introduced itself. "I'm Relemon," it said in a sweet, formal voice.

Ken placed a hand over his heart. "I'm Ken," he replied, with equal formality.

Before the introductions could proceed to what Ken hoped would be their natural conclusion, he heard a beeping off Daisuke-way and looked up again. Daisuke was standing with his Digivice in hand, looking down at it with an expression of mixed resignation and defiance, and a certain manic humor.

"We've been found out!" Daisuke called out, waving Ken over. "Come on, Ken, let's get going before you have to watch me get chewed out!"

"Maybe I'd find that amusing," Ken said dryly, but he did get up and dust himself off. He bowed farewell to the little Digimon. Hopefully he'd get to pick this up next time. He had no doubt now that there would be a next time; whatever he had to do to get Daisuke to bring him here again, he would.

He'd even seduce him, if he had to.

But apparently it was too late, at least for Daisuke's plan on escaping a lecture. A hologram flickered into being between Ken and Daisuke, and Ken could see that it was an image of a person, although from his vantage all he could see was the person's back. The person was wearing a cape and Ken had to resist his impulse to snicker mockingly. What a joke. This was obviously Daisuke's leader. If this person thought that superhero cosplay was necessary to maintain his authority, Ken felt he had absolutely nothing to fear.

"What are you doing?" the person was saying, sounding rather gruff and extremely annoyed. "Get him out of here immediately."

"Aw, Kaiser! It's just my friend, Ken. He's not dangerous. And I didn't take him anyplace dangerous! I don't see why we need to be so secret all the time, anyway..."

"You know nothing. Get him away from here, now."

Ken frowned, and stopped walking. Even though he could tell that the person was trying to mask his voice by dropping the tone, the voice was familiar. Eerily so.

"Alright, alright," Daisuke was grumbling, apparently not able to offer up anything other than the most token resistance. "Don't get mad. We'll leave... we're leaving. Look." Daisuke held up his Digivice and performed some kind of ritual, shouting "Digimental Up!"

The blue monster, Veemon, began to transform. "Veemon, Armor Digivolve!"

Ken could see where Daisuke got his "Digidestined" term from, now.

"Storm of Friendship, Raidramon!"

That could have sounded unforgivably lame, except for the fact that Veemon was now this kind of super...monster, like a giant lizard demon covered in black armor. Which wasn't lame at all.

In a daze, Ken remained rooted in place as Daisuke mounted this new evolution of Chibimon, coming around the hologram and leaning down to offer him a hand up. Ken looked up, but didn't offer his hand in return... instead, he looked over at the boy in the hologram, which was now turned to face him. It was a boy with wild hair, in a costume of blue and gold and white, and wearing some kind of a visor (presumably for disguise). From this side the outfit didn't look so stupid, although it was still unquestionably cosplay. Daisuke had called the boy "Kaiser," which was a term Ken knew to be German, a derivative of the word "Caesar," which in turn had become a title derived from the name of Julius Caesar, who had been the driving force behind the transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire.

That was all related Western History. A topic Ken had some interest in. But how had he come to that interest in the first place? Wasn't it from...?

Ken placed the voice.

"Osamu?"

. + .

What could he do?

Daisuke couldn't think of anything. Not a single thing.

But did that mean he would give up?

Never!

He knelt down next to his friend, and ran his fingers over Ken's cheek, not flinching even though it hurt. Ken looked like he was fading. Daisuke pressed his lips together firmly. Maybe he couldn't bring Ken back. But that didn't mean he would just let him go.

"I'm here for you, Ken. I'm here."

Daisuke was wet, and cold. Neither of these things mattered.

"Hold on. Wait for me. I'm coming, Ken, just you see." Ken's body was neither cold nor wet, at least that Daisuke could feel, because the sensation of buzzing electricity overruled everything. "I haven't even kissed you yet."

It was true. Each kiss he'd had was a gift from Ken. He'd never kissed Ken on his own, not once. Not once.

Leaning over, Daisuke corrected this, kissing Ken's lips lightly. It hurt. Ken did not stir.

"Don't give up, Daisuke." There was a certain bitterness to his voice.

"I won't," he told himself, summoning all of his resolve.

Maybe this would burn a little. Daisuke didn't care. Carefully, he lowered himself, bringing his cheek down over Ken's heart, lying against his painful form. It was still beating; the period of the flicker seemed to be timed from that. Daisuke closed his eyes, and touched his own heart, pressing fingers over his left chest. Feeling his own pounding pulse.

"I'm coming," Daisuke said. And willed himself to believe it.

. + .

The boy in the hologram did not respond for a long moment, and Ken ignored the way that Daisuke was saying, "Osamu? What? Ken? What?"

Ken crossed his arms. "Osamu." This time, it wasn't a question.

The Kaiser, Osamu, considered this a bit longer, and then finally nodded. "Ken," he said in return. And then disappeared.

Before Ken could process this any further, there was a crashing noise from nearby, and a giant lumbering monster broke through the tree line of the forest surrounding Primary Village. And perched upon it, standing grim and magnificent, was the Kaiser. Osamu, in the flesh.

So. Osamu was one of them too. One of the destined children. And Ken was not.

Daisuke was still sitting on his monster, and Ken peripherally noted the way that the boy kept looking back and forth between him and his brother, mouth open in befuddlement, maybe concern. Maybe alarm. Daisuke was now irrelevant. Ken cut him from his consciousness, focusing all of his attention on Osamu approaching him.

It made him angry. It made him so angry.

"Ken. Ken-chan. It's not safe for you here." Osamu called out once he was close enough to be heard without shouting.

Huh. A likely story. Ken just raised his eyebrows, his arms still crossed. He tilted his chin upwards slightly.

"Please. You have to go. Let Daisuke take you." Osamu did turn to spare the other boy a glance, and although his expression didn't change, Daisuke flinched. That didn't matter. Osamu was looking at him again, and his voice broke a little, concern tainting it. "Please go. We can talk at home."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You have to. Ken--" Osamu was openly pleading now.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ken cut his brother off.

"I... I belong here." Osamu looked down, ashamed. "It's what I do."

What he did? Besides being a genius, and famous, and Mama and Papa's darling? On top of all that, he was a bleeding_ hero _too?

It was too much. Just absolutely too much. Ken began to laugh, low and cruel at first but soon ramping up to something all-out insane. Too much. "You?" He said, still laughing. "You? You're _hilarious_."

Osamu flinched. He clearly recognized his own words being hurled back at him. "Stop, Ken. It's not safe. Believe me. You're not safe--"

"Why? Because you belong here, and I don't?" It was to laugh. Ken couldn't stop.

"You don't remember. That's why. You don't--" Osamu cut himself off this time, appearing to collect himself. He jumped down off the monster, landing lightly, and walked over to where Ken was, waving Daisuke off when Daisuke looked like he might intercede. "You've been here before, Ken-chan. You _do_ belong here. But." He was standing just a few paces from Ken now, and crossed his own arms. "It's not safe. Not for you."

"Not safe?" Not for him? What lies. What ridiculous lies.

"Yes. Look at you." Osamu was staring at Ken through his visor. How had that moron Daisuke not figured out who his "Kaiser" was? This close, it couldn't be more obvious. "Even you are not usually this much of a jerk."

Well, that was blunt. Was Ken supposed to be impressed? The chills had resumed, and the itch, but he paid them no mind. "You're saying this is my fault?"

"No!" Osamu put a gloved hand to his forehead and massaged it, as if trying to erase a headache. "I'm saying it's mine! I never protected you the way I should... that's why... that's why...."

"Why what?"

"You've been corrupted." Osamu looked over at Daisuke again. "This is my brother. You know who I am now. We need to get him out of here."

And now Osamu was ignoring him? It was intolerable.

"What's wrong with him?" Daisuke kept giving Ken wary looks, so he, at least, knew where the real danger lay.

"He was here a long time ago, with a friend of mine, another Chosen..." Osamu cut himself off once more, shaking his head in frustration. "Ah, it doesn't matter. Just know that he was a Chosen Child, and fought a very evil Digimon, and fell." Osamu sounded distraught. "He is a hero of this world, but... he can't stay. He has to leave."

"I'm sorry," Daisuke said, whispering, and the look he gave Ken was so sad. Ken wanted to go over there and wring his neck. "I didn't know."

"I know," Osamu cut him off impatiently. "Forget it. Will you help me?"

"Yes."

"He's your friend, and my brother. We have to take him. Can you do it?"

"Yes."

Daisuke's voice came down like lead.

The itch and chills were evolving into a picking sensation in Ken's head. Pick, pick... it felt like how he imagined it was for apes, plucking vermin from their fur. It was gross and unclean.

Somehow it must stop.

Ken fell to his knees, clutching his head. His neck was hurting, but so was his head, and his mind.

_Ken._

A voice. Ken looked up.

_Ken. Ken. Come home. Come home._

It sounded like....

_It's me, Daisuke. Come home, or I will come there. I won't leave you. _

Daisuke.

_No matter what, I will never leave you._

Daisuke.

. + .

The flickering ceased, and Ken began to cough. Daisuke sat up, rubbing his cheek... it hurt, and yet somehow felt numb, but he didn't spare a lot of attention for that. The beeping had stopped. Ken was waking up.

"Daisuke..." Ken said, with a voice that was very hoarse, his eyelids fluttering open to stare upwards, blank and empty. "Daisuke?"

He was right there, of course, brushing back Ken's hair from his now clammy skin, all traces of electricity gone. "I'm here," he said. "Right here."

For a moment Ken cast about blindly, looking bewildered and distant as his eyes scanned aimlessly, but soon his eyes locked onto Daisuke's face and gradually he appeared to focus. "There you are."

"Yes," Daisuke said, grinning, hiding every scrap of concern he still felt. "God, you suck at swimming."

"Tell me about it." Ken groaned, and struggled to get up.

It was an unsuccessful struggle, and Ken would have sunk back down into the cement if Daisuke hadn't been there to scoop him up, getting his arms in under Ken's back, rocking him into a sitting position while still clinging to Ken tightly. "You _really_ suck," Daisuke said, laughing a little, jagged laughter broken with suppressed sobs and held-back tears.

Ken, for his part, brought his arms around Daisuke slowly, weakly but with growing strength. "I'm sorry," Ken said, burying his face in Daisuke's shoulder.

What had that been? What had just happened?

Daisuke shook his head. It didn't matter. Maybe he should ask, but not now. Priority number one was making sure Ken was okay, not upsetting him further. He then bit his lower lip, bruising it until he could taste blood. "You're lucky that I rule. I am the best athlete in all of Minato ward, beyond excellence!" Ken felt cold, now; Daisuke rubbed his hands briskly all over Ken's back. "Beyond amazement! Beyond belief!"

"... _I_ live in Minato."

"We both do. Your point?"

Finally, finally, Ken laughed. It was such a small little laugh, and it was accompanied by a pathetic cough, but Daisuke had to fight to hide his sigh of relief.

If Ken could laugh then everything would be fine. Everything would be perfect. "Oh, nevermind," Ken said, softly.

It was time for a tactical retreat to the locker room. "Get up," Daisuke said, and although he was ordering Ken to help he meant to do most of the work himself. Ken leaned against him heavily, but did not fight as Daisuke staggeringly brought Ken to his feet. "Let's get you warmed up."

"All right." Ken said, clinging to him with something a bit more than mere weakness. "I'm sorry, I'm going to make you so late for home."

Indeed. Like Daisuke cared. "Don't worry about that."

All that mattered was that he had Ken. Ken had come back to him.

"It's my fault," Ken whispered.

To say no or deny it would be to open up a disagreement where Ken would feel obligated to keep whipping himself emotionally until he was satisfied that he'd been appropriately punished. Daisuke wasn't going to play that game. "Ah, it just means I get more time with my boyfriend," he said, looking up at the stars, pushing Ken to come along. He took a deep breath. "My boyfriend, the number two athlete in Minato."

That worked. Ken laughed again, a smothered laugh against Daisuke's soaked shirt.

Getting Ken back inside was a challenge, but fortunately they were still on the right side of the fence so at least there would be no need for ropes or grappling. For a moment Daisuke thought he should text Tai using his D-Terminal, telling him belatedly what had happened. But after another moment of thought, he decided against it.

Tai didn't need to know about this.

No one did.

"Ah, Daisuke?"

He looked down, all other thoughts forgotten as Ken drew his attention. The other boy was making the most complicated face, a kind of fascinated grimace. Ken had raised his free hand and was rubbing at his nose, scrubbing at it and then pinching it, as if testing its integrity. "Yes?" Daisuke asked, trying to sound all casual.

"... why does my face hurt?"


End file.
